Would You Rather…? Seattle Edition!
Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels
In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.
As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*1075
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Stop Whining and Start Visualizing
You know what? I have had it with all the gloomy, depressing talk about the economy. I think it is time for us to stop whining, get off our butts, and do something about this mess we find ourselves in.
There is nothing we can do to change the past. We should not dwell on the fact that George W. Bush has personally ruined our careers, destroyed our hard-earned home equity, and driven us into suffocating credit card debt. Now is not the time for that.
Local
City of Kirkland Outlaws Layoffs
In a decisive and timely move during an emergency special session Saturday night, the Kirkland city council voted unanimously to pass Ordinance 4188, which prohibits any further layoffs at any company within the city limits.
“As the economic crisis continues deepen, Kirkland simply cannot afford to be marred by the destructive connotations associated with layoffs,” said Kirkland Mayor James Lauinger in a prepared statement.
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Nickels: Seattle #1 Bestest City in Universe
WILL IT NEVER END?!?
I love it. I’d like to watch a group of Seattlites play this game.
Would you rather: Vote for Obama or committ suicide by drinking gasoline in the name of global warming.
I’ll vote for Obama
I would vote for Obama better then voting for McCain or drinking water out of Tacoma Harbor.
This is spot on! Seattle people are weird.
Would you rather use your turn signals, or slam your fingers in the car door?
Would you rather peel that Kerry sticker off your Subaru, or do Teresa Heinz Kerry’s hair?
Would you rather take that No Iraq War sign out of your front window, or mow your lawn?
Would you rather hold the door for someone, or be driving on The Viaduct when the next earthquake hits?
Would you rather bash in the head of a parked motorist, or follow traffic laws while riding your bicycle?
Would you rather kick a puppy, or pick up the pace a little as you saunter through a crosswalk while cars are waiting?
On the Obama vs. gasoline, I would most definitely take the gasoline! And this game captures the essence of a Seattlite.