Seattle’s Top Recession-Proof Careers
Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels
In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.
As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*1075Read More
Stop Whining and Start Visualizing
You know what? I have had it with all the gloomy, depressing talk about the economy. I think it is time for us to stop whining, get off our butts, and do something about this mess we find ourselves in.
There is nothing we can do to change the past. We should not dwell on the fact that George W. Bush has personally ruined our careers, destroyed our hard-earned home equity, and driven us into suffocating credit card debt. Now is not the time for that.
City of Kirkland Outlaws Layoffs
In a decisive and timely move during an emergency special session Saturday night, the Kirkland city council voted unanimously to pass Ordinance 4188, which prohibits any further layoffs at any company within the city limits.
“As the economic crisis continues deepen, Kirkland simply cannot afford to be marred by the destructive connotations associated with layoffs,” said Kirkland Mayor James Lauinger in a prepared statement.Read More
Lithos is so obnoxious and OH OH JEEZ OH GOD Oh.
I want the job that involves reminding us all that this is a CORRECTION PERIOD, period.
I want the job of checking on the flatulent measurement meters on bovines in King County. We all know that bovines are responsible for injecting methane and the hated CO2 into our Climate changing atmosphere and we have to tax these emitters. I like the idea of arresting cattlemen and women for failing to have their meters attached to the business end of these awful animals! Who needs $1 hamburgers for lunch anyway? We could always eat soy bean patties. I would insist, however, that my public employee union provide me with the proper gas masks and boots to deal with all that bullshit lying around in the pastures. Reminds me of being in the Capitol in Olympia!