Screw Transportation Compromise, Seattle Should Ban Cars Outright

When it comes to our area’s transportation problems, you hear a lot of talk these days about “compromise.” People say that transit advocates and road supporters should come together and find a middle ground that will benefit the entire community. You know what? Screw that. There, I said it.

I am tired of pretending that there are two sides to the so-called transportation “debate.” The simple fact of the matter is that anyone who says we should build even one more mile of roads is quite clearly harboring a deep-seated hatred for mankind and our great green Mother Earth.

Pavement is forever, and Seattle cannot afford to pave over another square inch of our precious natural surroundings. Those that suggest we should destroy our ecological habitat to make room for more cars (or death-mobiles as I refer to them) should be banished outright from our fair city.

If Seattle is serious about respecting the environment, we must completely eliminate every last one of the toxic-gas-spewing murder machines, and any who support them.

No, wait. Simply banishing the rolling ecosystem-slaughterhouses and those that endorse them is not enough. In order to really send a message, we should round up all of these machines and their life-eradicating fans and crush them into tiny cubes. We could then use these cubes to build houses for the homeless or maybe put them together in a modern art installation in Pioneer Square. The enemies of life must be reduced, reused, and recycled for the good of the planet.

The only transit options for people that cherish clean air and green grass are electric light rail, bicycle, and walking. Okay, maybe Segways are acceptable too, as long as you recycle the batteries once they wear out. But that’s all. If you can’t get there on the train or by bicycle, you don’t need to go. If you think you do need to go someplace that the train doesn’t bring you, then you just need to live closer.

Some say that the only way out of Seattle’s transportation mess is to build more roads. They say that our area’s heavy traffic can only be solved by increasing our capacity for cars. Obviously these people have not considered the fact that with no cars, there can be no traffic. Either that, or they are deliberately ignoring this simple truth, because they would rather annihilate every last tree, bird, and salmon in the greater Puget Sound than go one minute without their precious automobile.

We don’t need to compromise with killers. We need to stand up and say “we have had enough.” Tear down the Viaduct and replace it with parks. Rip out I-5 and plant a tree. Sink the 520 bridge, return the lake to nature.

Only by returning to our roots can we let the tree of life return once again to Seattle. We cannot tolerate environmental massacre in the name of convenience. Seattle needs to ban cars as soon as possible, if we want to have a future at all.

About the Author

Stephanie Wiltshire
Naked Loon Staff Columnist

6 Comments on "Screw Transportation Compromise, Seattle Should Ban Cars Outright"

  1. Karl Schmidt | 2008-04-08 at 12:51 AM |

    Leaving the Hiram Chittendon Locks open would also be a great idea, freeing up millions of tax dollars spent on maintenance of the locks and no fewer than 7 bridges. It would create a natural path to the Sound and create immediate, affordable housing on the former shore of Lake Washington and the former Mercer Island. This type of housing would be most beneficial to some of the larger families and extended families of our immigrant population.

  2. What’s scary is some people actually believe a lot of this!

  3. What’s scary is that much of this is true!

  4. Last week the paper noted how the City of Tacoma will consider taxing each of its residents $100 to drive the streets of our town.

    “A transportation benefit district allows a local government to create a new taxing district. It would be separate from the city, but still run by the local council. Among the taxing options are a $100 annual fee per vehicle, a 0.2 percent increase in the sales tax and a property tax levy.”

    No where does it talk about the city’s obligation to carpool to work, buy hybrid vehicles, stop driving huge SUV’s or take the bus to its own council meetings.

    Does any city council member take the bus to their weekly Tuesday night meetings? I think not.

    So before our famed council tries to pond more cash out of our tax strapped residents, try living by your green living recommendations. Otherwise, stop preaching to the over taxed citizens in telling us how to live a more carbon neutral life, when you yourselves do not adhere to your rhetoric.

    This time Eyman is right. Citizens should vote for any tax increase that goes against the intentions of the $30 state car tab fee.

    Otherwise, Tacoma residents will get screwed by this city council, again. You can count on it coffee talk fans.

  5. Ulysses | 2008-04-16 at 1:57 PM |

    Methinks someone wants to be heard, seeing as the above comment was copied and pasted into two different articles…

  6. WOW!!! What a babe!

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