Following years of waning attendance, organizers of the King County fair have announced that they have completely given up all hope of attracting visitors to the 145-year-old event.
In past fairs, the promise of greasy food, exciting rides, and the slim chance of winning an absurdly oversized stuffed cartoon character was used to trick unsuspecting residents into attending an inherently boring festival of agriculture, farm animals, and live action infomercials. This year however, county officials have announced that they will be eliminating the tasty food, fun rides, and entertaining games, and shifting the focus of the fair completely onto its wholly uninteresting core of local agriculture.
In keeping with truth in advertising standards, the fair has been renamed the King County 4-H Agricultural Fair, or KCHHHHAF.
“I’m hoping that this will be what puts the fair out of its misery,” said fair manager Sharon Roberts. As the oldest fair in the Western U.S., the King County Fair has outlived its usefulness and really needs to go, Roberts said. Other fair organizers agreed that constantly putting on an event of this magnitude centered on such a mind-numbing subject has become increasingly wearisome throughout the years.
The hollow, empty shell of what used to be a fun-filled family event will be held July 18-20 at the Enumclaw Expo Center.
In a weak attempt to maintain the illusion that they actually want people to attend, the county has dropped the admission fee for this year’s fair. “We’re not idiots,” Roberts explained, “we know that no one is dumb enough to pay to come learn about what little local agriculture remains in King County.”
Fair attendance has dropped from 64,821 people in 2003 to 33,119 in 2007. Fair officials hope that this move will finally be enough to drop attendance below 10,000, which would justify completely shutting it down once and for all.