I want to be a elephant trainer when I grow up

My name is Alexander and I am in the first grade. When I grow up I want to be a elephant trainer.

Elephants are neat. They are big and gray and have funny long noses and you can ride on them if you are real careful and nice. When you ride on a elephant you can make it go around and stomp on people like the bully at school named Joe that pushes me around. My elephant will make Joe go splat.

In class we had to rite about what we want to be when we grow up, and I rote about elephant trainer because that what I am going to be. I can train the elephants to do neat tricks and to trip people with thier noses.

Elephant trainers can spend all day with the elephants playing with them and petting them and feeding them peanuts. I like to feed peanuts to the elephants. Sometimes I throw the peanuts and try to make them go in the elephants ear but usually I miss.

I went to the zoo with my mama and daddy and saw the elephants. It was fun. Mama said that elephant trainers dont make nuf money and if I was a elephant trainer I would have to leave Seattle cus of its too aspensive. I said that maybe if I am a really good trainer then they will pay me lots of money and I can stay.

The elephants at the zoo are neat. My daddy let me feed them oreganik peanuts that we buyed at joes trader. Mama and daddy said that we hafta give the elephants oreganik foods cus thats what they eat at their homes and other foods can kill them dead like when our puppy died cus of I fed it a bite of my baloney sandwich.

I asked mama if I could ride on a elephant and she told me to not get my hopes up cus you will just be sad when your dreams die a slow and agone izing death. Sometimes mama is silly.

Another reason I want to be a elephant trainer is because I can eat all the peanuts I want to. I like to eat peanuts, but mama doesnt let me cus she says she doesnt want me to get the allergees and die. Thats why I sneak peanuts when mama isnt looking.

Someday I will be a elephant trainer and mama and daddy will come to see my elephants at the circus. I will be the king of the circus and mama and daddy will ride my elephant with me and we will make all the bullys go splat.

About the Author

Alexander Brooks
Naked Loon Staff Columnist

4 Comments on "I want to be a elephant trainer when I grow up"

  1. This is awesome.

    “make all the bullys go splat.”

  2. I don’t believe a word of it. That kid looks like a peanut-hater to me!

  3. Hello young man you are coming and I am going 68 years old you want to be a bull man ( name circus people use elephants are called bulls males are called males females cows),I have trained over 100 different elephants from Alaska to Argentina for most of the shows on the road I was always introduced as the traineers ,trainer on the Hamid Morton circus,I have thought about writing a site about elephants,especialy the tough ones that go splat to save young peoples lives have a question write me Wally Diehl

  4. hello loonies do some of you write software for Bill Gates?
    As I said in the blog to Alexander I would like to write some serious articales on horse ,and elephant training how to pick a horse for your child what to watch out for to keep the child from being hurt,or killed how to safely work elephants how to handle Alexanders bullies. the physcology for this is amazing that you wont get anywhere else wally diehl thank you

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