Point-Counterpoint: The War in Iraq

US Out of Iraq

The US needs to get out of Iraq right away. There is no reason to delay any longer; we need to put a stop to the violence by withdrawing every American troop from the country without delay.

We need the US out of Iraq. There can be no blood for oil. Everyone knows that Bush lied, people died. The best thing to do would be to impeach Bush. I support the troops, which is why I believe we need to bring them home right away.

We have lost too many lives, both American soldiers and innocent Iraqis, to continue this illegal war of aggression. There were no WMDs. There is only the meaningless killing for oil. We elected a democratic majority to Congress in 2007 so that we would finally have an end to this war, and we demand that it end now.

The US needs to get out of Iraq, apologize for all the damage we have done there, and arrest, try, and convict our so-called President Bush for the war crimes he has so recklessly committed.

Stop the Senseless Murder of Pregnant Iraqi Children

No, no, no, no, no. “US out of Iraq” is so cliché that it could mean anything. We don’t need more clichés. What we need is to immediately and retroactively terminate our abhorrent bloodthirsty actions in Iraq.

Ever since our nation’s heartless, evil leader began this satanic warfare against the people of the Middle East, I have done nothing but weep and protest, with rare breaks to eat or sleep. If the US spends even one more minute pursuing these atrocities against humanity, I will probably die of anger and sorrow.

With the mind-boggling amount of blood already on our hands, the people of America have no choice: We must instantly stop the senseless murder of pregnant Iraqi children, the brutal abuse of cancer-ridden Iraqi dogs, and the sickening destruction of priceless Iraqi architecture.

If at all possible, we should also commission our nation’s top scientists to research time travel, so that we can go back and right this wrong before it even happened. By diverting the billions of dollars that we are currently squandering on immoral hostilities in the Middle East into time travel research, we will be able to bring real justice to the Iraqi people, and also prevent Bush, Cheney, and Rove from ever having been born.

About the Author

Rupert McCarthy
Naked Loon Staff Columnist

5 Comments on "Point-Counterpoint: The War in Iraq"

  1. Ulysses | 2008-04-02 at 3:59 PM |

    Thank God for opinionated tirades like these. Without these debates, I’m not sure if I could ever think for myself. But as a result of your great work here, I know I can absorb your opinions into my own and become a better person for it. Thank you, Naked Loon.

  2. yeah, pregnant Iraqi children. what is that? why are the Iraqi children pregnant? Have they been raped? Have they been raped by the multi national forces that represent the European Crusaders? The architecture can be rebuilt by the same families that built the structures in the first place, the same way they were built two thousand years ago. Is that the time travel passage?

  3. Ulysses | 2008-04-13 at 6:53 PM |

    Iraqi children are obviously pregnant because a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, and then made a wish. I know this because Scrubs told me so.

  4. Max Rommel | 2008-04-13 at 8:16 PM |

    Iraqi children are pregnant because they must have had sex? End of story. Nothing to see here. Now let’s kick some serious islamofaciast butt!!! Don’t be liberal pussies, Seattle!! You’ll get another NBA team – NOT!! Never!! Ha!

  5. Come on! Give me a break… where else can we test our new bombs and other really cool gee-whiz electronic weapons! What a dunder-head, and he shore looks like one, too!

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