Monday, April 27, 2015


Naked Loon Staff and Reader Blogs

[The Papyrus Virus]

King County Metro Buses: Now With 100% More Papyrus!

Papyrus: On View Now!

The Burke Museum resorts to Papyrus to tout their coffee exhibit on the back of King County Metro buses.

As if dedicating an entire exhibit to the devil’s brew weren’t disgusting enough on its own.

[The Papyrus Virus]

David Horsey: Papyrus Lover

David Horsey: Papyrus Lover

I usually try to avoid exposing myself to the predictable and unfunny graphical musings of “cartoonist” David Horsey, but I spotted something in today’s thumbnail on the front page that caught my eye.

Yes, that’s right. The P-I’s illustrious illustrator couldn’t even be bothered to hand-draw his own script for today’s “comic.” He went with Papyrus.

I wouldn’t have previously thought it possible, but I think my opinion of David Horsey just fell even further. Tsk.

[The Papyrus Virus]

I Heart Scott Kurtz

Scott Kurtz, the artist behind the webcomic PvP has put up a gem of a comic today. I won’t spoil it by pasting a small excerpt here. You should just go and spend 10 seconds reading it yourself: PvPonline » The Font Snob

God bless you, Scott Kurtz.

[The Loony Bin]

Important Feed Changes

Attention, Naked Loon RSS and email subscribers. By popular request, beginning tomorrow the default Naked Loon feed will be converted to news-only content.

Q: Huh?
A: Your current RSS or email subscription updates with all news content and blog content, including this blog, Forecast Monkey, and others. The new default will be for news content only.

Q: So how do I get the new news-only feed?
A: Sit there and do nothing. Your feed will be converted automatically.

Q: But I like the blogs, you jerk! How can I get them back?
A: If you would like to regain an RSS or email subscription to Naked Loon blog content, visit our Feeds page for the full buffet of subscription options.

Q: You’re a doodie-head.
A: I’m not sure how that’s relevant. And I am not.

[The Loony Bin]

Naked Loon Scoops New York Times by SIX MONTHS

Faithful readers of The Naked Loon will recall this story from October 10th:

Sterilizations Skyrocket as Economy Crumbles

With the future looking bleaker by the day in the face of unprecedented economic meltdown, millions of people across the country are turning to sterilization to help them cope with the disaster.

Clinics in virtually every city in America have been flooded with requests for sterilization from middle-age professionals, teens barely out of puberty, and everyone in between. Without exception, those receiving the procedures have cited the country’s dismal, expensive future as explanation.

Now consider the following story from The New York Times, dated today, April 10th:

Uptick in Vasectomies Seen as Sign of Recession

Urologists and clinics have noticed an uptick in recent months in the number of men requesting vasectomies. …the recent anecdotal data, if they hold, would have a historical parallel in the Great Depression, when the birth rate fell sharply.

In what is surely pure coincidence, The New York Times piece even includes quotes from right here in The Naked Loon’s neck of the woods:

In Seattle, Dr. Charles Wilson of the Vasectomy Clinic says that in the last half-year he has performed an average of 123 of the procedures each month — 13 percent above the year-earlier average. “Some come in because they are out of work and have more time on their hands to take care of medical issues,” Dr. Wilson said. “Others are afraid of losing their job and want to get their vasectomy done before they lose their health insurance.”

Unemployment was the reason Michael Swogger, 30, went to see Dr. Wilson. Mr. Swogger was laid off in January from his job as a Microsoft software test engineer. With three children and another on the way, he and his wife decided it was time for a vasectomy.

“I wanted to get this done before the insurance ran out,” Mr. Swogger said.

Of course, we’re probably a little bit biased, but we still think our story was better:

Even seasoned sterility experts have been astounded by the range of people that are now demanding sterilization.

“I am pretty sure that I hit menopause ten years ago,” said 65-year-old Meridith Alexander of West Seattle, who had her tubes tied on Thursday. “And even though I haven’t had a date in thirty years, I figured it’s better to be safe than sorry, you know?”

I think The New York Times will be hearing from our team of imaginary ninja zombie lawyers.