Jesus Reportedly Primarily Interested in Granting Followers the Easy Life

According to a series of recent radio ads, Jesus Christ—Lord and Savior of all mankind who died on the cross for our sins and was raised again on the third day—is primarily interested in granting His followers the easy life.

“In this fast-paced world,” begins one ad, “it’s easy to lose sight of what’s really important … your life.”

According to local pastor Peter Kilmer, “Jesus actually isn’t interested in challenging you or urging you to gain spiritual maturity and wisdom.”

“We’re running this series of ads to try to clear up some of the misconceptions out there,” said Kilmer. “People think that if they decide to follow Jesus they’re going to be saddled with burdensome things like loving their neighbor and caring for the poor, but in reality, Jesus is all about fitting your life and lifestyle.”

The radio, print, and television advertisements are part of a $10 million ad campaign by Kilmer’s church, Fountain of Vitality Fellowship. Kilmer explained that the move is just a small aspect of Fountain of Vitality’s overall mission to spread the good news of the easy life across the greater Puget Sound.

Added Kilmer, “be inspired to do something good for yourself!”

About the Author

Frigyes Karinthy
Naked Loon Neighborhood Correspondent

1 Comment on "Jesus Reportedly Primarily Interested in Granting Followers the Easy Life"

  1. Drop Kick Me Jesus | 2008-12-03 at 12:18 PM |

    I joined one of those TV churches. You know, the ones where you can go sit on your rear in the dark and watch the service on a big screen. But that was too much commitment for me, so now I just stay home dressed in my pajamas and fuzzy slippers, with my coffee, and change channels on TBN in between Sunday football beer commercials. I get so much more out of John Madden’s sermons now on blitzing by shifting it through TBN’s insights on how Jesus wants me wealthy…

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