Bizarre Weather System to Slam Washington this Winter

Meteorologists at the University of Washington issued a warning to Pacific Northwest residents Wednesday for an extreme weather system this winter.

“We have recently weathered both El Niño and her little sister La Niña,” said UW meteorologist Stan Cooper. But the danger looming on the horizon is far worse. “Citizens should prepare for the worst this winter as Basura Blanca, El Niño’s drunken neighbor, hits the Northwest in full force.”

2009 will be the first year of Basura Blanca since the end of prohibition.

According to climatologists, Basura Blanca will bring with it a wide variety of weather conditions as well as other… adverse side effects.

Be on the lookout for the following warning signs of Basura Blanca:

• cheap beer rains from the sky
• over-the-air television signals play nothing but Rosanne reruns
• radio signals are overrun with Lynard Skynard, Van Halen, The Offspring, and Elvis Presley
• clothing stores inexplicably sell nothing but jeans and white tank-tops

The most effective way to keep your family safe during this time of Basura Blanca is to avoid trailer parks at all cost, generally keep away from the mid-west, and if you have the means, just move to Canada for the next six to nine months.