Study Confirms Seattleites’ Self-Importance

At South Kitsap’s annual science fair last week sophomore Erin Rheinstadt published the results of her groundbreaking three-day study titled “The effects of an inland body of salt water on regional attitudes of superiority.”

The five page double-spaced paper and accompanying three-panel display board showed how Rheinstadt applied the scientific method to test her theory that people living on the east side of Puget Sound are far more smug than those living on the west side. Through accompanying graphs, pie charts, and color-coded maps, she documented the “smugness discrepancy quotient,” comparing cities such as Seattle and Bellevue with Bremerton and Silverdale.

“I was really surprised by the results,” said Rheinstadt. “I mean, like, everyone around here knows that Seattleites have a hugely overblown sense of self-importance, but I didn’t expect that it would be this easy to find scientific evidence to back that up.”

Rheinstadt’s project was awarded a white ribbon for “excellent participation.”