It’s a total mystery to me why Kellogg’s Wild Animal Crunch failed to be a smashing success, but was instead doomed to haunt the aisles of Grocery Outlet, selling at a massive discount of $1.50 per 11 oz. box.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to eat crunchy little bits of polar bears, pandas, seals, and meerkats?
Wait—the cereal isn’t made of wild animals? Oh, so it must be what wild animals eat, then? That sounds a little less appetizing, but I guess I’d be willing to give it a try. The animals on the box look pretty happy with their diet, after all.
That’s not what it is either? Well what the heck is it, then?
Oh, it’s just another sugar-infused, cardboard-y marketing ploy.
Got that right!
Aw man, I just looked up the ingredients of Leapin’ Lemurs cereal, and it doesn’t have any lemurs in it either! It even says “organic” – doesn’t that mean it should actually contain what it says? And what could be more organic than eating wild jungle critters?
Rats! I was gonna introduce my roadkill cereal, now what am I gonna do with all this extra possum and squirrel?
Ha ha! That don’t sound so good! Think the scraping the dead squirrel off the road idea went away with the war guys!!