2008
Software Pirates Steal $2 Million in Weekend Raid on Microsoft Offices
Software pirates raided the Redmond offices of Microsoft this weekend, stealing thousands of copies of Windows, Office, and other software valued at over $2 million.
The burglary is the latest in an ongoing battle between Microsoft and the software pirates, whose ongoing thefts of retail-packaged software cost the company hundreds of millions of dollars every year.
“These robberies are costly to us,” said Microsoft spokeswoman Jill Jakes, “but the real victim here is the customer. Every copy of Windows Vista Ultimate Edition that is stolen by pirates is a copy that we can’t sell to a customer for three hundred and twenty dollars.”
Seattle Armchair Politics: Rage Goal Achieved!
(Visit The Naked Loon to view this life-altering graphic)
Better Living Through Parakeet
We sat down with FLAX, our expert parakeet consultant, who was gracious enough to share with us some of the life wisdom he has learned.
FLAX on enjoying the weekend:
Hrello hrello hrello. Tweet! Prerty bird, prerty bird. Tweet tweet tweet, tweet-tweet tweet. Hrello, cracker! Chirp tweet tweet chirpity chirp.
Budding Journalist Aspires to One Day be Laid Off by Seattle Times
Just two years out of college, 28-year-old journalist Joshua Licks has big dreams for the future. Currently a reporter for the Bothell / Kenmore Reporter, a small local paper delivered weekly to about 15,000 homes, Licks dreams of one day landing a job at The Seattle Times, where he will subsequently be laid off due to the paper’s continually declining circulation and ad revenue.
“It’s every journalism student’s dream to make it to one of the slowly dying big dailies,” said Licks. “Hopefully, if I write enough interesting, hard-hitting pieces, I’ll eventually be good enough to get hired, and soon thereafter fired by the Seattle Times.”
Stocks Slide on Stock Sliding Worries
Crestfallen investors sent stocks tumbling Thursday, pushing the Dow Jones Industrials down over 340 points after shareholders and depositors continued the sell-off that began late last year, devastating hopes for a late-year recovery.
The market was already nervous as it waited for the government to release its August fall fashions report on Friday. So news from the nation’s financial centers that shareholders curtailed their buying last month due to a lower stock prices came as a heavy blow.
Four-Way Stop Wave-a-thon Now in Sixth Hour
Rossi Admits Mafia Ties, Surges in Polls
Just two days after Republican candidate for governor Dino Rossi admitted ties to a powerful Italian crime syndicate, statewide polls show he has opened an overwhelming lead over Christine Gregoire.
In a poll of three thousand likely voters taken Wednesday Rossi leads Gregoire by over sixty points statewide. In an even bigger shocker, Rossi—who was behind by as much as 30 points in King County just last week—now holds a 61-37 lead in among Seattle area voters.
New Feed Options for Naked Loon Readers
For those of you that are reading The Naked Loon via an RSS reader (or would like to), I’d like to point you toward a useful new page: Naked Loon RSS Feeds.
If you’re currently subscribed to The Naked Loon’s RSS feed, you’re viewing the Full Site Feed. For your convenience, we have created fourteen new feeds—one for each section of the site.
If you like the news stories, but can’t stand the blog posts, sign up for the News Only Feed. Or, if you really just like stories in the “Community” section, you can sign up for the Community News Feed. The possibilities are limitless. Okay, that’s not true, but 20,922,789,888,000 (almost twenty-one trillion) combinations is nearly limitless, right?
Anyway, the point is, the power is in your hands.
The Wonders of Modern Science
PetCo apparently has some incredibly skilled (and crazy) genetic engineers on staff. Check out the intriguing pet they’re selling (I circled the important area in yellow).
Gregoire Asks Bush to Declare Safeco Field Federal Disaster Area
Christine Gregoire today asked President Bush to declare a federal disaster area for Washington State counties hit hard by this year’s unspeakably horrendous Mariners’ season.
Gregoire requested federal assistance for King, Snohomish, Pierce, Kitsap, Thurston, and Island counties.
On Monday, Gregoire viewed Safeco field by air and visited Mariners team stores in downtown Seattle and Bellevue to survey damage from this year’s record low number of team wins…
Clear Skies, Highs in the 70s Return to Terrorize Population
PAX ’08: Line Line Revolution
The unofficial theme of PAX ’08 was “standing in line is awesome.” Behold some of the incredible line action on Sunday, the least crowded day of the expo.
(Click through for pictures and commentary.)
Coca-Cola to Test New Coke Nega in Seattle
Atlanta-based Coca-Cola Company announced Monday that it will begin testing of a new soft drink in five markets across the United States, including Seattle. Dubbed Coke Nega, the new offering is “110% calorie, caffeine, carb, and taste-free,” according the company.
“The soft drink-buying public’s reception of Coke Zero since its introduction in 2005 has been phenomenal,” said Coca-Cola spokesman Rob Morton. “But we told our beverage engineers that people hated it and were rioting on the streets calling for their heads, so they have been working non-stop since then to come up with the next great Coke.”
PAX Photos for Great Justice
How about a few pictures from the majesty that is PAX?