2008
MIT Study: Internet Rife With Hypocrisy, Lies
Researchers at MIT announced the shocking results of a groundbreaking study Monday, revealing that over 90% of the population of the internet are liars and hypocrites.
In the fourteen-month study, researchers canvassed hundreds of discussion forums, blogs, and social networking sites, tracking down participants and following up in-person on statements and claims made online.
King Co. Practice Ballot
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The Naked Loon Reviews: TV Comedies
In three short weeks, this delightful election season will finally come to an end, as the thrilling climax wraps up well over a year of non-stop entertainment. Unfortunately, once the post-election rioting dies down, millions of Americans will be left with a frightening entertainment void.
Luckily, thanks to the beauty and majesty of network television, Americans need not fear being forced to face the depressing reality of their pathetic everyday lives.
Fun REALLY Over for King County Fair
Anybody remember this story from the Naked Loon’s April 1 launch day? Fun Over for King County Fair
Rossi, Gregoire Trade Literal Blows in Final Debate
The final debate between gubernatorial candidates Dino Rossi and Christine Gregoire turned ugly last night as the heated verbal exchange erupted into an all-out brawl in front of a stunned panel of local journalists.
With the increasingly ugly tone of the campaign, local political veterans were surprised only that it took this long to come to physical violence.
Bob the Plumber Sues McCain for Discrimination
Live It Up on 32 Cents a Day (or Less)
So the economy is in the toilet, your 401(k) is worthless, you lost all three of your jobs, your bank went under, and the Second Great Depression is underway. You’re a fighter, and you are going to keep on living it up. You won’t let little things like not having any money stop you from enjoying life.
Here are some helpful tips to will help you maintain a fun standard of living during these difficult times.
Bothell Man Experiences Uncharacteristically Safe, Friendly Commute
Throughout the entirety of his 18 mile commute this morning, something just seemed “different” to Bothell commuter Rick Vance, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
Upon arriving at his workplace in downtown Seattle, it dawned on him: “I didn’t encounter a single rude, oblivious, or otherwise incompetent driver on the road this morning,” he recalled.
Accustomed to frequent altercations…
Market Recovers Fraction of Massive Losses: Crisis Averted!
Delicious, Crunchy Wild Animals
It’s a total mystery to me why Kellogg’s Wild Animal Crunch failed to be a smashing success, but was instead doomed to haunt the aisles of Grocery Outlet, selling at a massive discount of $1.50 per 11 oz. box.
The Economic Meltdown Has Gone Too Far
When the stock market fell thirty percent, it was rough, but I knew I could handle it since I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me. When Washington Mutual went under and had its bones picked clean by a hoity toity New York bank, I knew I would miss their low fees and laid-back attitude, but life goes on.
But when I learned last week that Mother’s Cookies has gone under, that’s when I knew that the economic meltdown had gone too far.
Market Got You Down?
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Sterilizations Skyrocket as Economy Crumbles
With the future looking bleaker by the day in the face of unprecedented economic meltdown, tens of thousands of people across the country are turning to sterilization to help them cope with the disaster.
Clinics in virtually every city in America have been flooded with requests for sterilization from middle-age professionals, teens barely out of puberty, and everyone in between. Without exception, those receiving the procedures have cited the country’s dismal, expensive future as explanation.
Deprivation and Despair Overwhelm Seattle
The growing worldwide economic crisis has finally hit home, as residents across the Puget Sound are taking unprecedented measures to make it through these tough times. The Naked Loon performed a series of man on the street interviews with regular folks about how they are coping with financial despair.
What follows are unedited excerpts of these heart-wrenching personal tales.