2008
Intersection of 6th and Pike Immune to Recession
A group of Seattle business leaders and local economists released a statement today declaring that the intersection of 6th Avenue and Pike Street is definitely, positively, absolutely immune to a recession.
“It has become apparent that Washington State, Greater Puget Sound, the city of Seattle, and even downtown Seattle are not immune to a recession,” the statement said, “however, we are confident that the encroaching recession will not affect the intersection of 6th and Pike.”
Anchored by the economic powerhouses of Niketown and American Eagle Outfitters, economists are certain that 6th and Pike will easily avoid the increasing unemployment, stagnant wages, and business failures that have plagued the nation in recent months.
Space Needle Totally Around Here Somewhere
The Space Needle is totally around here somewhere, I’m sure of it.
Yes, I realize we’ve been wandering around downtown for two hours now. That just means we must be close, right?
No, I will not stop to ask for directions. I realize that this is our first time Seattle, and I may not know where every little thing is located. But I’ll be danged if I stoop to getting any so-called direction from one of these prancified coffee-swilling yuppies.
Ballard Denny’s Decision Sparks Trend
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]
Paul Allen Announces “Experience Paul Allen Project”
Graduates Ride Emotional High from Successfully Meeting Minimum Standards
One week into their new lives as allegedly contributing members of society, recent local high school graduates are still riding an emotional high from completing the biggest achievement of their lives: meeting the criteria for graduation as defined in the Washington State law and school board policy.
“It’s like, so great to finally be like, done with school” said Sarah Donohue, a graduate of Inglemoor High in Kenmore.
Local teens reported feeling a lasting sense of accomplishment and satisfaction after successfully reaching the level of education required to obtain such illustrious jobs as cashier, car salesman, and food preparation worker.
How Are We Enjoying Summer Weather?
(Visit The Naked Loon to view this life-altering graphic)
New Gregoire Campaign Signs Bite Back
Following a series of reports this week from Puget Sound residents returning from the arid wasteland of Eastern Washington where they witnessed Dino Rossi campaign signs bearing the message “Don’t Let Seattle Steal This Election,” Christine Gregoire has launched a counter-offensive campaign in King County.
Campaign spokesman Aaron Toso explained the move, saying, “Dino Rossi is pure evil. It’s time we brought that message to the people of Seattle.”
Billy (or: Quit Yer Complainin’)
Billy wants to be a fireman when he grows up. For most little boys, this would be a reasonable dream, but for Billy, it may be a little out of his range.
See, Billy was born blind, and there aren’t many blind firemen, if there are any at all. In addition to his blindness, he is deaf in both ears, which makes it even harder.
What really makes it outside of the realm of possibility though, is the fact that Billy is a quadriplegic: he cannot move any muscle below his neck. He is confined to a wheelchair, which he controls with a mouth-joystick.
These are not the complete catalog of Billy’s woes, though. Not by far…
Honda Unveils Breakthrough Octabrid
Taking full advantage of the recent explosive popularity of hybrid vehicles, Honda has unveiled their latest breakthrough in automotive technology: the octabrid car.
“Continuing the tradition of innovation that we began with the Insight, Honda is proud to announce our exciting new car,” said a press release from Honda. “The new Honda Stan is powered by eight different fuel sources, making it four times better than the hybrids on the market today.”
In lieu of a traditional gas-powered engine, the Honda Stan is equipped with a cutting-edge drive system that converts eight sources of energy into motion…
Mariners Fire Mascot Moose
Bennett: “syl seattle lol”
Lawyers for the city of Seattle scored a virtual slam dunk in the city’s trial with Sonics’ ownership on Wednesday.
The turning point came when the city revealed a series of enthusiastic text messages between Clay Bennett and other members of the Professional Basketball Club that confirmed their intent to move the team to Oklahoma City from the beginning.
“omg ok sncs ftw,” declared Bennett in a text sent to co-owner Aubrey McClendon on October 24, 2006, the day the NBA approved the sale of the team.
South Korean Transit Strike Disrupts Gamer Junk Food Supply
As the strike of over 13,000 truckers in South Korea stretched into its fifth day today, grim ramifications are beginning to take shape.
Over seventy-five percent of South Korea’s forty-nine million citizens spend more than 18 hours a day playing online games such as Starcraft, FIFA Soccer, and KartRider, but due to the transit strike fun and games have given way to a brutal fight for survival. Online gamers in dimly-lit apartments and internet cafés are running critically low on important staples such as Cheetos and Mountain Dew.
Let’s Hear it for Your Seattle Trailblazers!
7 Ways to Save $7,777 by Christmas in July
As the price of gas barely pauses at $4 on its way up to $10 a gallon and you find yourself spending $300 at the grocery store for little more than an organic grapefruit and a box of low sodium Wheat Thins, it is only by the grace of home equity withdrawals that so many of us have avoided bankruptcy this long.
It is getting harder and harder to make ends meet these days, let alone find the money to take advantage of all the latest great sales at our favorite stores. With the amazing savings of Independence Day sales and Christmas in July just around the corner, it’s time to start looking for ways to save some coin.
Thankfully, all you have to do is follow these practical money-saving steps based on the average Seattle-area budget, and you are guaranteed to save $7,777 in just four weeks.