Space Needle Totally Around Here Somewhere

The Space Needle is totally around here somewhere, I’m sure of it.

Yes, I realize we’ve been wandering around downtown for two hours now. That just means we must be close, right?

No, I will not stop to ask for directions. I realize that this is our first time in Seattle, and I may not know where every little thing is located. But I’ll be danged if I stoop to getting any so-called direction from one of these prancified coffee-swilling yuppies.

Give me that tourist map, I’ll try to make sense of that again. Let’s see… Westlake Center, Starbucks, Pacific Place, Starbucks, Tully’s, Starbucks… There’s the Space Needle right there, next to the Starbucks. I just don’t get it. We’ve already passed like five or six Starbucks already. How many more could there possibly be?

I’m starting to think that maybe this whole trip was a bad idea. Seriously, whose idea was it to visit Seattle, anyway? What was wrong with my suggestion of Omaha? We could have driven there in just five hours. But no, we had to fly all the way out to this tree-infested liberal cesspool, just because you can’t get over that ridiculous infatuation with Tom Hanks.

No, I still don’t see it. Sheesh. Why do we have to see the Space Needle today, anyway? It will still be there tomorrow, won’t it? Besides, we’ve had a full day already, what with the underground tour and watching those market folk throwin’ fish. What was with that, anyway? Are they that lazy that they can’t walk a few steps across the booth and hand the fish to each other? And why would someone spend perfectly good money to buy a fish when they got a lake right next to town where they can go catch their own? Folks in Seattle are strange.

Anyway, let’s just keep walking, and I’m sure we’ll find it soon.

About the Author

Dwayne Steve
Special to The Naked Loon

7 Comments on "Space Needle Totally Around Here Somewhere"

  1. Ulysses | 2008-06-24 at 8:45 PM |

    I saw it once, in the distance, then got blinded by all the smarmy self-importance some of those local yokels splashed my way.

  2. Don’t believe what you hear about the rain. It’s actually quite warm and sunny most of the year, 300-plus days of bright sunshine. (at least) And warm? Even in December. Oh, and by the way, you can buy one of those houseboats, like Tom Hanks in the movie, for real cheap. Welcome to your new home!

  3. Very cute. The Space Needle was much easier to spot before someone put up all those mammoth skyscrapers.

  4. Just look up. & the lake? That’s no lake… That’s salt water.. It’s called Puget Sound & it’s an inlet from the Pacific Ocean. Unfortunately, fishing for Salmon requires a license in those waters.

  5. Yeah, I can see it from my apartment when look outside, but don’t ask me how to get there.

  6. Jonathan | 2008-07-08 at 3:46 PM |

    This is so humorous and true. Whenever we walk around the Center or downtown in the summer, we seem to be stopped by one tourist asking, “Where’s that Pike’s Market?” or “Where’s the Space Needle?” For the Needle, our favorite response is simple, “Look up!” :)

  7. Kristin | 2008-07-08 at 9:31 PM |

    I once heard that if you make it to the top of the Space Needle, you can see Japan!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.