The town of Donnybrook, North Dakota was a complete and utter bore today as absolutely nothing happened for the ten-thousandth consecutive day.
There were no crimes, no good deeds, no business deals, no mushy reunions, and no rampaging chimps escaped from the local zoo (there is no zoo) flinging poo on the citizenry.
The last time anything happened in Donnybrook was February 10th, 1981, when Sunny Jones nearly hit Betty Landing’s dog with his Monte Carlo. “It just walked right out in front of me, not more than ‘hundred-fifty feet away,” recalled Jones. “Had to slow from ten down to five to give it time to cross.”
The eighty-nine residents of Donnybrook planned to celebrate the occasion by continuing to go about their daily lives in the most generic and ordinary way imaginable.