Hi, my name is Alexander and I am in the eighth grade. I am an above average English student and author. I don’t prefer to write very much, but I can write pretty good. I can do poetry O.K. if I try real hard, as I have done in this column. This column will show my creativity. Some of the poems will not be that great, but they are my best.
Thank You, and enjoy.
What began as a routine bi-weekly work session for the Marysville City Council turned into an all-out brawl yesterday when tensions over a proposed tractor ordinance boiled over.
The regulation, which was introduced by councilmember Carmen Rasmussen, would restrict downtown streets to only non-tractor traffic every Thursday evening. “Some of the townsfolk have reported difficulties getting to the farmers’ market,” said Rasmussen as she introduced her proposal.
Tractor policies have long been a heated point of contention in Marysville city politics…
Let me begin this review with a warning. If you are thinking of buying Juno on DVD so you can enjoy a thrilling documentary about one of the internet’s first free email services, reliving the glory days of dial-up with blazing fast 14.4 kBaud modems, you are going to be disappointed. As it turns out, Juno has nothing to do with email at all.
Juno’s recipe for success includes a mixture of bizarre nonsensical music, some hamburger phones, a handful of 19-25-year-olds pretending to be high schoolers, and one glorious scene featuring Rainn Wilson. All in all, it makes for an enjoyable enough experience, but I still wish there was more email.
May 18, 2008—In a stunning display of journalistic sloth, 95% of news outlets across Western Washington headlined yesterday’s edition with yet another Mt. St. Helens eruption anniversary story.
Although nearly every possible angle on the 1980 event has been covered, re-covered, and then covered a few dozen more times for good measure, hundreds of news writers ignored the newsworthy events of the day and instead shamelessly spewed forth their own versions of the all-too-familiar tale.
Common rehashes of the anniversary story included so-called “dramatic” retellings of the events surrounding the eruption, interviews with witnesses and survivors, and collections of poetry and song written to the mountain.
Increasingly inexpensive and popular radio-controlled “atomic” clocks allow us to complete our meaningless daily tasks with a satisfying sense of precision, but according to a Bellevue research lab, they are also secretly broadcasting the inane details of our lives to unknown locations.
According to the researchers, the average Puget Sound household has 4.7 of the spy clocks scattered throughout their home. The secret spy cameras cleverly hidden in the clocks give a front row seat to one or more shadowy organizations every time you dance by in your underwear.
Continuing the Seattle-area’s proud history of innovation and entrepreneurship, a pioneering new company opened its doors this week. Lynnwood-based Public Embarrassment Enterprises promises customers “a warm steaming puddle of (perfectly legal) revenge.”
When murder for hire companies fell out of favor in the late 1980s due to a series of legal challenges and negative media attention, then-student James Rodney—now the CEO of PEE—was taking notes.
You see this burger? The one right here in front of me, sitting on my plate? I can eat this entire burger in one bite.
That’s right; I can just pop the whole thing right into my mouth and scarf it down all at once.
You don’t believe me? Well, that’s a crucial error on your part. I know my mouth better than I know the back of my hand, and certainly well enough to make an accurate assessment of how much food it can or cannot hold at one time.
As sunny weather begins to return to the Northwest, so do the problems associated with warmer temperatures, including one of our area’s most troublesome nuisances: panhandlers.
The street beggars have begun their yearly migration back to the green utopia of the greater Seattle area, and by mid-June you’ll hardly be able to drive three blocks without being accosted by dozens of their carefully crafted cardboard pleas. It used to be that they stuck to downtown street corners, but surveys in recent years have found panhandlers in over 87% of Puget Sound neighborhoods.
You’re a compassionate person, but you can’t give them money every time you drive by…
In response to Monday’s devastating earthquake, the People’s Republic of China has declared war on Earth’s tectonic plates.
“Killing over 10,000 of our citizens and destroying our highways, schools, hospitals, and countless homes is clearly an act of war,” said Premier Wen Jiabao. “For too long we have allowed the brutal aggressions of the tectonic plates to go unanswered—no more.”
Senator John McCain said Monday that the Republican stance on immigration is chasing Hispanic voters away from the party, a problem that he has a plan to personally solve.
“I believe the majority of Hispanics find me to be an attractive guy, and I hope to have the opportunity to take them out and explain my policies to them over a nice bottle of wine,” the Senator said.