September 2008

Boeing Machinists Demand Tully’s in Breakroom, Pleather Gloves for Shop Floor

As 27,000 Boeing machinists hit the picket lines for the fifth day, representatives of the International Association of Machinists (IAM) released a comprehensive list of union demands on Wednesday.

While the list contains the usual complaints about pay raises and pensions, many machinists say it’s the lesser known issues like better coffee in the breakroom and more comfortable hand protection that are the most important to them.

Gahh, I Hate Being Wrong!

You know what I hate? I hate being wrong! Wait, did I say wrong? Scratch that, I am never wrong.

I just hate it when someone confronts me and tries to get me to back up my views with so-called logic and reason. Listen, people—I do not base my beliefs on actual “logical thought” or “rational thinking,” okay? Do I look like some sort of college professor or something? Sheesh.

I do not so much use reason to come to my beliefs, as raw emotion

Software Pirates Steal $2 Million in Weekend Raid on Microsoft Offices

Software pirates raided the Redmond offices of Microsoft this weekend, stealing thousands of copies of Windows, Office, and other software valued at over $2 million.

The burglary is the latest in an ongoing battle between Microsoft and the software pirates, whose ongoing thefts of retail-packaged software cost the company hundreds of millions of dollars every year.

“These robberies are costly to us,” said Microsoft spokeswoman Jill Jakes, “but the real victim here is the customer. Every copy of Windows Vista Ultimate Edition that is stolen by pirates is a copy that we can’t sell to a customer for three hundred and twenty dollars.”

Budding Journalist Aspires to One Day be Laid Off by Seattle Times

Just two years out of college, 28-year-old journalist Joshua Licks has big dreams for the future. Currently a reporter for the Bothell / Kenmore Reporter, a small local paper delivered weekly to about 15,000 homes, Licks dreams of one day landing a job at The Seattle Times, where he will subsequently be laid off due to the paper’s continually declining circulation and ad revenue.

“It’s every journalism student’s dream to make it to one of the slowly dying big dailies,” said Licks. “Hopefully, if I write enough interesting, hard-hitting pieces, I’ll eventually be good enough to get hired, and soon thereafter fired by the Seattle Times.”

Stocks Slide on Stock Sliding Worries

Crestfallen investors sent stocks tumbling Thursday, pushing the Dow Jones Industrials down over 340 points after shareholders and depositors continued the sell-off that began late last year, devastating hopes for a late-year recovery.

The market was already nervous as it waited for the government to release its August fall fashions report on Friday. So news from the nation’s financial centers that shareholders curtailed their buying last month due to a lower stock prices came as a heavy blow.

Rossi Admits Mafia Ties, Surges in Polls

Just two days after Republican candidate for governor Dino Rossi admitted ties to a powerful Italian crime syndicate, statewide polls show he has opened an overwhelming lead over Christine Gregoire.

In a poll of three thousand likely voters taken Wednesday Rossi leads Gregoire by over sixty points statewide. In an even bigger shocker, Rossi—who was behind by as much as 30 points in King County just last week—now holds a 61-37 lead in among Seattle area voters.

No Picture

New Feed Options for Naked Loon Readers

For those of you that are reading The Naked Loon via an RSS reader (or would like to), I’d like to point you toward a useful new page: Naked Loon RSS Feeds.

If you’re currently subscribed to The Naked Loon’s RSS feed, you’re viewing the Full Site Feed. For your convenience, we have created fourteen new feeds—one for each section of the site.

If you like the news stories, but can’t stand the blog posts, sign up for the News Only Feed. Or, if you really just like stories in the “Community” section, you can sign up for the Community News Feed. The possibilities are limitless. Okay, that’s not true, but 20,922,789,888,000 (almost twenty-one trillion) combinations is nearly limitless, right?

Anyway, the point is, the power is in your hands.

Gregoire Asks Bush to Declare Safeco Field Federal Disaster Area

Christine Gregoire today asked President Bush to declare a federal disaster area for Washington State counties hit hard by this year’s unspeakably horrendous Mariners’ season.

Gregoire requested federal assistance for King, Snohomish, Pierce, Kitsap, Thurston, and Island counties.

On Monday, Gregoire viewed Safeco field by air and visited Mariners team stores in downtown Seattle and Bellevue to survey damage from this year’s record low number of team wins…