In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.
As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*1075
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You know what? I have had it with all the gloomy, depressing talk about the economy. I think it is time for us to stop whining, get off our butts, and do something about this mess we find ourselves in.
There is nothing we can do to change the past. We should not dwell on the fact that George W. Bush has personally ruined our careers, destroyed our hard-earned home equity, and driven us into suffocating credit card debt. Now is not the time for that.
In a decisive and timely move during an emergency special session Saturday night, the Kirkland city council voted unanimously to pass Ordinance 4188, which prohibits any further layoffs at any company within the city limits.
“As the economic crisis continues deepen, Kirkland simply cannot afford to be marred by the destructive connotations associated with layoffs,” said Kirkland Mayor James Lauinger in a prepared statement.
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Why not build a still? Then pack it up with corn and yeast and let it ferment. Then distill the mixture and use it to power your car and at the same time give you a big charge with a couple of big swigs. If you drink enough of your own product, you will just forget all about these high gas prices, and the global warming nut cases that want to take away your car.
The art of the syphon, ftw!
I don’t see my “solution” on the chart. I got sacked from my job. I’m driving a LOT less now! But the “crying self to sleep each night” option sounds appealing.