Got a Score to Settle? Think PEE.

Continuing the Seattle-area’s proud history of innovation and entrepreneurship, a pioneering new company opened its doors this week. Lynnwood-based Public Embarrassment Enterprises promises customers “a warm steaming puddle of (perfectly legal) revenge.”

When murder for hire companies fell out of favor in the late 1980s due to a series of legal challenges and negative media attention, then-student James Rodney—now the CEO of PEE—was taking notes. He realized that the market for revenge was not likely to disappear just because of a few inconvenient judicial decisions. So he began drawing up plans for a business that would meet that need without falling victim to legal troubles. Fifteen years later, he arrived at the perfect solution.

PEE’s ground-breaking business model charges customers a flat fee for a variety of revenge services. Revenge choices range from $50 for the “Step in Gum” or the classy “Signed Up for Embarrassing Publications Under the Next-Door Neighbor’s Address” options all the way up to the all-inclusive exotic $2,500 “Convinced of Kidnapped Family and Imminent Terrorist Attack on Personal Residence” package.

The signature PEE product is its $500 mid-range “Public Pants Peeing” package, in which PEE operatives will execute a maneuver against your target in a public place that will terrify them so badly they will wet their pants. With all their packages PEE provides customers with a framed photo of the critically embarrassed victim as a cherished keepsake of a successful operation.

After running a series of valuable private tests over the past year, Rodney decided that the time was right to give the general public access to PEE. He expects the bulk of PEE’s clientèle to be made up of young professionals and bored empty-nesters.

“People are slighted by their enemies every day,” says Rodney, “most of them would like to take revenge, but they’re just too busy to come up with a legal way to punish their rivals in the way they so richly deserve.”

Although they are entering into the marketplace during uncertain economic times, Rodney is certain that PEE will have no trouble attracting and retaining a steady flow of customers, thanks to their unique services that no one else can presently offer.

“I’m really excited that the public will finally have an opportunity to take advantage of everything PEE has to offer,” said Rodney. “We’ve worked for years to perfect the PEE experience, and we think our customers will really be happy with the result.”

About the Author

Björn Maximus
Naked Loon Business Reporter

2 Comments on "Got a Score to Settle? Think PEE."

  1. I hope they open a franchise over here!

  2. Maybe with a built-in Starbucks? THINK ABOUT IT, PEE!

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