I Heart Scott Kurtz

TOPICS:papyrus pvponline

Posted By: Alfred Matthew 2009-04-25

Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels

In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.

As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*10⁷⁵

Posted By: Addison Berkeley 2009-01-15

Stop Whining and Start Visualizing

You know what? I have had it with all the gloomy, depressing talk about the economy. I think it is time for us to stop whining, get off our butts, and do something about this mess we find ourselves in.

There is nothing we can do to change the past. We should not dwell on the fact that George W. Bush has personally ruined our careers, destroyed our hard-earned home equity, and driven us into suffocating credit card debt. Now is not the time for that.

Posted By: Nigel Jones 2009-05-11

Scott Kurtz, the artist behind the webcomic PvP has put up a gem of a comic today. I won’t spoil it by pasting a small excerpt here. You should just go and spend 10 seconds reading it yourself: PvPonline » The Font Snob

God bless you, Scott Kurtz.

2009-03-29

City of Kirkland Outlaws Layoffs

In a decisive and timely move during an emergency special session Saturday night, the Kirkland city council voted unanimously to pass Ordinance 4188, which prohibits any further layoffs at any company within the city limits.

“As the economic crisis continues deepen, Kirkland simply cannot afford to be marred by the destructive connotations associated with layoffs,” said Kirkland Mayor James Lauinger in a prepared statement.

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2008-12-31

Nickels: Seattle #1 Bestest City in Universe

2008-12-18

WILL IT NEVER END?!?

2008-12-03

Burien Emo Still Recovering from Awful Thanksgiving

Nigel Jones

Naked Loon Photographer / Illustrator

6 Comments on "I Heart Scott Kurtz"

Ulysses | 2009-05-11 at 11:24 AM |

I came here as soon as I saw the comic! I knew you had to see it.
Benjamin Geiger | 2009-05-11 at 11:47 AM |

Which store is he referring to in the last panel?
Ulysses | 2009-05-12 at 9:42 AM |

A fictional store which is in the same field as Office Max, Office Depot, etc.
Guy who can't stop talking about fonts then inexplicably orgasms | 2009-05-29 at 1:09 PM |

Check out <a href=”http://xkcd.com/590/”today’s xkcd!
Man, there must be some kinda running gag amongst web comics that I’m not seeing. It seems like that OHHH font OHHHHH JEEZ is just the punchFMMMMfffff ohhhh!! ohhhh. –sigh–
Guy who can't stop talking about fonts then inexplicably orgasms | 2009-05-29 at 1:09 PM |

Check out <a href=”http://xkcd.com/590/”today’s xkcd!
Man, there must be some kinda running gag amongst web comics that I’m not seeing. It seems like that OHHH font OHHHHH JEEZ is just the punchFMMMMfffff ohhhh!! ohhhh. –sigh–
Guy who can't stop talking about fonts then inexplicably orgasms | 2009-05-29 at 1:10 PM |

Check out today’s xkcd!
Man, there must be some kinda running gag amongst web comics that I’m not seeing. It seems like that OHHH font OHHHHH JEEZ is just the punchFMMMMfffff ohhhh!! ohhhh. –sigh–

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2008-11-10

Reichert Collapses into Twitching Convulsions

Eighth District Representative Dave Reichert was hospitalized Monday, as the increasingly heavy burden of being the sole Republican hope in the Seattle area finally became too much to bear.

The stunning news came even as vote counts in King and Pierce counties extended Reichert’s now comfortable 13,000-vote lead in his re-election bid against Darcy Burner, a former Microsoft ~~executive~~ middle manager whose impressive credentials include a degree in ~~economics~~ computer science.

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2008-08-18

Attractive Statue Honoring Deserving Local Icons Bewilders Fremont Residents

The unveiling of an exquisitely-crafted bronze statue honoring a pair of admirable local stars triggered widespread panic and confusion among residents of Seattle’s Fremont neighborhood Sunday afternoon.

The superb level of detail and craftsmanship in the statue titled “Late for the Interurban” mystified residents, accustomed to crude concrete depictions found in such local treasures as the Fremont Troll and “Waiting for the Interurban.”

The deserving nature of the local heroes now enshrined in bronze also served to upset and bewilder the locals. Home to a contentious statue of communist leader Vladimir Lenin, Fremont has long maintained a sense of community pride in its ability to embrace art that would ordinarily cause any self-respecting American throw up a little in their mouth.

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2008-10-21

Local Shoe Company Unveils Ultimate Gimmick Shoe

Tacoma-based shoe company Wear the Foot issued a press release Tuesday announcing the latest breakthrough in high-tech shoe wizardry: the Pump-Light-Rolly shoe.

“We’re proud to be the first and only shoe company in the world to offer the advanced breakthroughs of pump technology, light-up soles, and wheeled heels in a single shoe,” CEO Howard Spitzer was quoted as saying in the release.

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2008-11-19

Brutally Beat the Winter Doldrums. To Death.

Ahh, winter. That glorious season of 8-hour daylight, bitterly cold nights, endless rain, and obligated time spent tolerating relatives. What’s not to love about it?

Of course, there are some people who tend to get down in the dumps as winter rolls around, and even though the staff here at The Naked Loon is “insensitive,” “detached,” and “evil,” we’re not the type to rub our winter-blues-immunity in others’ faces.

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2008-10-01

Voters Infuriated by Unexpected Breakout of Responsibility in Congress

In an unprecedented showing of clear-headedness and restraint, the House of Representatives denied a $700 billion bailout bill designed to keep bankers from suffering the consequences of loaning money to people that cannot pay it back.

As the DOW plunged nearly 800 points following the failure of the bill, angry American voters began flooding congressional switchboards, fax machines, and email inboxes.

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