The Space Needle is totally around here somewhere, I’m sure of it.
Yes, I realize we’ve been wandering around downtown for two hours now. That just means we must be close, right?
No, I will not stop to ask for directions. I realize that this is our first time in Seattle, and I may not know where every little thing is located. But I’ll be danged if I stoop to getting any so-called direction from one of these prancified coffee-swilling yuppies.
Give me that tourist map, I’ll try to make sense of that again. Let’s see… Westlake Center, Starbucks, Pacific Place, Starbucks, Tully’s, Starbucks… There’s the Space Needle right there, next to the Starbucks. I just don’t get it. We’ve already passed like five or six Starbucks already. How many more could there possibly be?
I’m starting to think that maybe this whole trip was a bad idea. Seriously, whose idea was it to visit Seattle, anyway? What was wrong with my suggestion of Omaha? We could have driven there in just five hours. But no, we had to fly all the way out to this tree-infested liberal cesspool, just because you can’t get over that ridiculous infatuation with Tom Hanks.
No, I still don’t see it. Sheesh. Why do we have to see the Space Needle today, anyway? It will still be there tomorrow, won’t it? Besides, we’ve had a full day already, what with the underground tour and watching those market folk throwin’ fish. What was with that, anyway? Are they that lazy that they can’t walk a few steps across the booth and hand the fish to each other? And why would someone spend perfectly good money to buy a fish when they got a lake right next to town where they can go catch their own? Folks in Seattle are strange.
Anyway, let’s just keep walking, and I’m sure we’ll find it soon.