Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The Loony Bin

CREDIT IN CRISIS: Naked Loon Special Edition
Friday, April 10, 2009@ 5:12 pm

Naked Loon Scoops New York Times by SIX MONTHS

Faithful readers of The Naked Loon will recall this story from October 10th:

Sterilizations Skyrocket as Economy Crumbles

With the future looking bleaker by the day in the face of unprecedented economic meltdown, millions of people across the country are turning to sterilization to help them cope with the disaster.

Clinics in virtually every city in America have been flooded with requests for sterilization from middle-age professionals, teens barely out of puberty, and everyone in between. Without exception, those receiving the procedures have cited the country’s dismal, expensive future as explanation.

Now consider the following story from The New York Times, dated today, April 10th:

Uptick in Vasectomies Seen as Sign of Recession

Urologists and clinics have noticed an uptick in recent months in the number of men requesting vasectomies. …the recent anecdotal data, if they hold, would have a historical parallel in the Great Depression, when the birth rate fell sharply.

In what is surely pure coincidence, The New York Times piece even includes quotes from right here in The Naked Loon’s neck of the woods:

In Seattle, Dr. Charles Wilson of the Vasectomy Clinic says that in the last half-year he has performed an average of 123 of the procedures each month — 13 percent above the year-earlier average. “Some come in because they are out of work and have more time on their hands to take care of medical issues,” Dr. Wilson said. “Others are afraid of losing their job and want to get their vasectomy done before they lose their health insurance.”

Unemployment was the reason Michael Swogger, 30, went to see Dr. Wilson. Mr. Swogger was laid off in January from his job as a Microsoft software test engineer. With three children and another on the way, he and his wife decided it was time for a vasectomy.

“I wanted to get this done before the insurance ran out,” Mr. Swogger said.

Of course, we’re probably a little bit biased, but we still think our story was better:

Even seasoned sterility experts have been astounded by the range of people that are now demanding sterilization.

“I am pretty sure that I hit menopause ten years ago,” said 65-year-old Meridith Alexander of West Seattle, who had her tubes tied on Thursday. “And even though I haven’t had a date in thirty years, I figured it’s better to be safe than sorry, you know?”

I think The New York Times will be hearing from our team of imaginary ninja zombie lawyers.


Reader Comments & Links:

One Comment on “Naked Loon Scoops New York Times by SIX MONTHS”

  1. Good job, Loon!!

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