Weirdos Ask Google News: Is Obama the Antichrist?

TOPICS:Google loony

Posted By: Alfred Matthew 2009-04-25

Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels

In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.

As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*10⁷⁵

Posted By: Addison Berkeley 2009-01-15

Stop Whining and Start Visualizing

You know what? I have had it with all the gloomy, depressing talk about the economy. I think it is time for us to stop whining, get off our butts, and do something about this mess we find ourselves in.

There is nothing we can do to change the past. We should not dwell on the fact that George W. Bush has personally ruined our careers, destroyed our hard-earned home equity, and driven us into suffocating credit card debt. Now is not the time for that.

Posted By: Marty E. 2008-11-07

Um, what the heck, people?

According to The Naked Loon’s web tracking software, on Wednesday and Thursday at least 43 people arrived at our recent point-counterpoint by doing a Google News search for “is obama the antichrist”, plus over 150 more that searched for obama antichrist, obama anti christ, obama the antichrist, and many other variations totaling over 200 visitors.

Seriously? People are searching Google News for this? Who are these people? At least one of them left a comment (#1), which gives us at least some clue as to the mindset of the type of individual that would search Google News for Obama’s Antichrist credentials.

This strange turn of events got me wondering… what other types of twisted searches are sending people to The Naked Loon?

Here’s a sampling of a few web searches (news and otherwise) that have landed unsuspecting internet users on The Naked Loon in the last month.

seattle is awesome – 9 searches
strip clubs for sale – 9 searches
pleather gloves – 8 searches
screaming at children – 7 searches
christine gregoire nude – 7 searches (oh how I wish I were making that one up)
darcy burner nude – 5 searches (seriously guys, find another hobby—yikes)
boeing ferrets – 2 searches

Wow.

2009-03-29

City of Kirkland Outlaws Layoffs

In a decisive and timely move during an emergency special session Saturday night, the Kirkland city council voted unanimously to pass Ordinance 4188, which prohibits any further layoffs at any company within the city limits.

“As the economic crisis continues deepen, Kirkland simply cannot afford to be marred by the destructive connotations associated with layoffs,” said Kirkland Mayor James Lauinger in a prepared statement.

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2008-12-31

Nickels: Seattle #1 Bestest City in Universe

2008-12-18

WILL IT NEVER END?!?

2008-12-03

Burien Emo Still Recovering from Awful Thanksgiving

Marty E.

Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

6 Comments on "Weirdos Ask Google News: Is Obama the Antichrist?"

Peter | 2008-11-07 at 11:48 PM |

“Christine gregoire nude”

……

(Barfs)

thats so damn sick
Rachel C | 2008-11-10 at 3:04 PM |

Wow…
zee | 2008-11-11 at 4:37 PM |

i sure do believe it.
jeff | 2008-11-12 at 8:21 PM |

Were the searches for boeing ferrets nudes? Or just sexy?
Ulysses | 2008-11-17 at 12:14 PM |

boeing ferrets? I hear they great a great dental plan…
Charles Dean | 2008-11-21 at 9:50 PM |

I liked the Boeing ferrets when their first album came out, but they totally sold out with their 2nd album.

Leave a comment

2008-08-22

Voters Face Difficult Decision Between Ultra-Rich and Ultra-Richer

For voters already faced with a difficult decision in November, the latest in a series of delightful name-calling, finger-pointing campaign ads highlights what could become the most important issue in this year’s presidential election: which ultra-rich candidate best relates to the average American.

Set off by the revelation this week that John McCain can’t remember how many houses he owns, this new mud-slinging contest could be the most crucial in the contest for the nation’s top job.

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2008-05-29

Anti-Depressant Manufacturers Thrilled by Oncoming Recession

Although most families find that the onset of a recession is a hardship to be overcome, there is a silver lining to every cloud. One such example is the makers of various anti-depressant medications, for whom the prospect of impending national economic difficulty is like winning the lottery.

As consumers across the nation tighten their belts and cut back on all but the basic necessities, often the first things to go are the budgets for entertainment and eating out. While a lack of amusing distractions coupled with a job loss or pay cut may leave families feeling down and out, it has drug makers smiling ear to ear.

“In these trying times,” said Pfizer CEO Jeff Kindler, “we are overjoyed to be in a position that allows us to reap massive profits by giving people the ability to chemically alter their mood.”

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2008-07-19

Totally Accurate and Important Starbucks Closure Analysis

Analysis

In an attempt to stop hemorrhaging money, Starbucks—whose stock price has tumbled over sixty percent since October ’06—recently announced the impending closure of over six hundred stores, including twelve in the Puget Sound region. Here’s a look at what went wrong for the largest dealer of legalized drugs in America, and how you can cope with the crippling withdrawal.

What do they do?

Starbucks business model is ostensibly based on selling coffee, the mind-altering drug of choice for busy self-important professionals. In recent years, they have deluded themselves into thinking that people visit their stores for the “atmosphere” rather than the drugs. This has led to a series of inexplicably poor business decisions such as CD kiosks, placing as many as seven stores on a single block, and attempting to sell $12 pastries.

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2008-05-17

Radio-Controlled Clocks Spy on Boring Happenings of Local Homes

Increasingly inexpensive and popular radio-controlled “atomic” clocks allow us to complete our meaningless daily tasks with a satisfying sense of precision, but according to a Bellevue research lab, they are also secretly broadcasting the inane details of our lives to unknown locations.

According to the researchers, the average Puget Sound household has 4.7 of the spy clocks scattered throughout their home. The secret spy cameras cleverly hidden in the clocks give a front row seat to one or more shadowy organizations every time you dance by in your underwear.

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2008-04-01

Scientists Counter Invading Species in Puget Sound

The once-peaceful Puget Sound is turning into a blood-soaked battleground as a host of invading species stage complex military assaults on native flora and fauna.

In a comprehensive report released this week, local environmental scientists revealed that everything from orca and salmon to algae and seaweed is feeling the brunt of an attack by invading forces. Taking advantage of an ecosystem already weakened by the global warming debate…

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