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April 2009

The Loony Bin April 28, 2009

Important Feed Changes

Attention, Naked Loon RSS and email subscribers. By popular request, beginning tomorrow the default Naked Loon feed will be converted to news-only content.

Q: Huh?
A: Your current RSS or email subscription updates with all news content and blog content, including this blog, Forecast Monkey, and others. The new default will be for news content only.

Q: So how do I get the new news-only feed?
A: Sit there and do nothing. Your feed will be converted automatically.

Q: But I like the blogs! How can I get them back?
A: If you would like to regain an RSS or email subscription to Naked Loon blog content, visit our Feeds page for the full buffet of subscription options.

Q: You’re a doodie-head.
A: I’m not sure how that’s relevant. And I am not.

Arts & Entertainment April 25, 2009

Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels

In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.

As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*1075

Politics April 8, 2009

Oppressive Tax on Loathed Minority Set for Easy Passage

Facing an unprecedented $9 billion budget shortfall, legislators in Olympia are scrambling to find new sources of revenue to sustain the drunken spending spree of the past four years.

Now thanks to some quick thinking by Senate Majority Leader Lisa Brown, cuts in popular programs such as after school basket weaving for inner-city toddlers will likely be avoided as an oppressive tax on an unpopular minority heads for easy passage.

Living April 2, 2009

Question the Kostyra: Handling an Overbearing Mother?

Today The Naked Loon is proud to introduce our very own advice column “Question the Kostyra,” in which Naked Loon Living Editor Martha Kostyra will answer your questions about life, relationships, and which espresso stand is most deserving of your valuable patronage.

If you have a question for Martha, just fill out our handy contact form to drop her a line. Today Martha dishes out her wisdom to a pair of distressed Seattle-area readers.

No Picture

The Papyrus Virus April 1, 2009

Welcome to The Papyrus Virus!

Welcome to the new Naked Loon blog: The Papyrus Virus.

If you haven’t noticed any Papyrus typeface today, you probably haven’t been looking. The font covers the country and our beloved Puget Sound like a plague.

This blog will document, catalog, and attempt to stamp out via ruthless mockery the growing virus that is the Papyrus font. We’ll be highlighting our own spottings of the omni-present lettering, but we are also happy to receive user submissions as well. Just send pictures to jones %at% nakedloon %dot% com

So let’s jump right into the Papyrus ridicule, shall we?

Business April 1, 2009

New Street Balloons Just the Marketing Gimmick These Overpriced Homes Need

After having houses languish unsold on the market for over a year, the marketer of Grove Cypress, a 15-home development in south Snohomish County, has discovered the key to finding buyers for the remaining $500,000 houses: street balloons.

“We’ve tried banners, flags, sandwich boards, arrow sign wavers… the works,” said Ron Freeman, Grove Cypress lead marketer. “I think the balloons will really do the trick.”