January 2009

Retailtastic January 7, 2009

Curious Usage of the Term “Lower Price” at Home Depot

I made a quick stop by Home Depot today and spotted something rather unusual.

Take a look at the picture below and see if you notice anything… odd.

US/World January 7, 2009

Burris Reid Smackdown Tops Cable Rankings

Illinois’ incoming junior senator Roland Burris’ no holds barred brawl with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid drew over one hundred and eighty million viewers Wednesday, with political beatdown enthusiasts from every state in the nation tuning into the brutal five hour match.

Political observers were treated to the first such fight in over one hundred years thanks to an obscure Senate rule requiring disputed seats to be settled in the boxing ring.

Your World January 4, 2009

Top Rumors for 2009

(Visit The Naked Loon to view this life-altering graphic)

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November 5, 2008

Point-Counterpoint: Obama is the Christ vs. Barack Hussein Obama is the Antichrist

Obama is the Christ

Congratulations America. You finally did something right. You elected Barack Obama—the embodiment of all that is good and virtuous—as our great nation’s president.

Barack Hussein Obama is the Antichrist

Oh no. No no no… America, what have you done—WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I can hardly believe this is really happening, but the American people have indeed just elected Barack Hussein Obama—the Antichrist as our president.

November 21, 2008

Bush Extends WA Budget Deficit to $5 Billion

As one of his final acts in office, President George Bush signed an executive order earlier this week, expanding Washington State’s already crippling $3.2 billion projected budget deficit to a mind-boggling $5 billion.

In addition to personally wrecking havoc with Washington State’s budget, Bush also signed orders that would force Boeing to begin laying off thousands of employees in 2009…

August 16, 2008

A Comprehensive Guide to Alternative Transportation

Has the high price of gas got you considering alternate ways of commuting to work, but there are so many options that you find yourself paralyzed with indecision? Can’t get those darn little shoulder-dudes to shut up with their non-stop debate over the merits of driving alone to work in an earth-killing smog machine?

Maybe Naked Loon staff are the only ones with a shoulder-dude problem, but fortunately we won’t let that stop us from bringing you this exhaustive guide to all your transportation options. Read on and be enlightened.

April 19, 2008

Snowy Apocalypse Descends Upon Puget Sound

In an unmistakable sign of God’s anger toward the numerous and flagrant sins of the greater Seattle region, a storm of heavy snow and lightning descended upon the area the evening of April 18th.

“Nude bicycle parades, gay newspapers, and an extreme idolization of coffee are all abominations to me,” said The Almighty. “And don’t even get me started on that terrible stank they got going on down in Tacoma.”

June 7, 2008

How To: Get Internet in Your Own Home

As you walk the happening streets of Ballard, you may occasionally overhear some trendy young people talking about something called “Internet.” Internet is like a kind of world-wide computer brain that knows everything. With Internet you can find the answer any question and satisfy any craving, no matter how base and repulsive it may be.

Getting Internet into your home can be tricky, which is why The Naked Loon has compiled this quick guide to getting Internet.

In order to get Internet, you first need to realize what Internet is, and just as importantly, what it is not. It’s not a big truck that you can just back up to your garage or something. You need technology to get Internet.

January 2009

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