Tap Plastics

The Papyrus Virus 2009-04-07

Tap Plastics Bids Farewell to Papyrus

After just one week and as many posts, the looming specter of impending mockery on The Papyrus Virus is already an agent for typeface improvement in the Seattle area.

Behold, Tap Plastics on 9th Ave. N near Broad Street…

2009-02-20

Discovery of Twitter Gives Bellevue Man False Sense of Technological Prowess

BELLEVUE, WA — 38-year-old Joe Millar of Bellevue experienced a satisfying surge of adrenaline Friday upon his discovery of Twitter, the so-called “micro-blogging” internet service founded in March 2006.

When he received the new account email from Twitter, Millar was completely overwhelmed by a totally undeserved sense of tech savvy. According to internet experts (i.e. teenagers), over six million users managed to discover Twitter before Millar.

2008-11-23

PLAY SHINY HAPPY VIDEO GAMES

(Visit The Naked Loon to view this life-altering graphic)

2008-07-12

Nickels Multiplies Bag Fees in Litter-Induced Rage

Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels announced a revision yesterday to his plan to charge city residents for using plastic and paper bags at area grocery stores: The “price” of a bag will rise to $1 for paper and $2 for plastic, a jump from the original fee of 10 cents for paper and 20 cents for plastic.

The fee program was approved by the city council last summer, and has met with substantial resistance from local merchants, tourists, and pretty much everyone one except the mayor.

“We, or rather I, feel it is imperative to make this fine, err, I mean green-use fee sting, in order to teach the upstanding, if obstinate citizens of our eco-friendly city that hurting the earth simply does not pay,” Nickels said Friday afternoon at a press conference hastily organized on the steps of city hall.

2008-05-03

Study Confirms Seattleites’ Self-Importance

At South Kitsap’s annual science fair last week sophomore Erin Rheinstadt published the results of her groundbreaking three-day study titled “The effects of an inland body of salt water on regional attitudes of superiority.”

The five page double-spaced paper and accompanying three-panel display board showed how Rheinstadt applied the scientific method to test her theory that people living on the east side of Puget Sound are far more smug than those living on the west side…

2008-05-19

News Outlets Lazily Run Yet Another Eruption Anniversary Story

May 18, 2008—In a stunning display of journalistic sloth, 95% of news outlets across Western Washington headlined yesterday’s edition with yet another Mt. St. Helens eruption anniversary story.

Although nearly every possible angle on the 1980 event has been covered, re-covered, and then covered a few dozen more times for good measure, hundreds of news writers ignored the newsworthy events of the day and instead shamelessly spewed forth their own versions of the all-too-familiar tale.

Common rehashes of the anniversary story included so-called “dramatic” retellings of the events surrounding the eruption, interviews with witnesses and survivors, and collections of poetry and song written to the mountain.

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