Google

The Loony Bin 2008-11-07

Weirdos Ask Google News: Is Obama the Antichrist?

Um, what the heck, people?

According to The Naked Loon’s web tracking software, on Wednesday and Thursday at least 43 people arrived at our recent point-counterpoint by doing a Google News search for “is obama the antichrist”, plus over 150 more that searched for either obama antichrist, obama anti christ, obama the antichrist, and many other variations totaling over 200 visitors.

Seriously? People are searching Google News for this?

Retailtastic 2008-10-03

Google: Buy Some Hebrew DVDs

Just had this text ad appear at the top of my Gmail inbox…

2008-06-02

Poll: Political Campaigns Not Nasty Enough Yet

A recent poll of three thousand Americans revealed that a majority of likely voters believe that this year’s political campaigns have been too civil to date, and would like to see the volume of spite and malice turned up a few notches.

“This year’s mudslinging has gotten off to a decent start,” said pollster Jim Hornswall, citing examples of allegedly-unofficial smears such as the Barrack Hussein Obama: Muslim Terrorist Lover video on YouTube and the John McCain is a Senile Old Coot blog. “But voters are craving more,” he said.

Americans are already tired of hearing about the so-called “issues” such as Obama’s plan to bring troops home from Iraq or McCain’s position on climate change…

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2008-06-14

The Naked Loon Reviews: Random Orientation Videos

Starting a new job may be intimidating, but it can also be a source of great entertainment. The best part about starting a new job is when you get to sit around for an entire day of orientation, doing little more than cramming your face with junk food as your new employer force-feeds you multiple videos telling you all about such thrilling topics as how bad it is to harass anybody and how good it is to be safe.

In keeping with the proud tradition of print journalism, we generally shy away from the devilish work of the italic on the pages of The Naked Loon, but the orientation videos we are reviewing today were so dramatic, we had to make a special exception.

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2008-04-01

Point-Counterpoint: The War in Iraq

US Out of Iraq
vs.
Stop the Senseless Murder of Pregnant Iraqi Children

We need the US out of Iraq. There can be no blood for oil. Everyone knows that Bush lied, people died. The best thing to do would be to impeach Bush. I support the troops, which is why I believe we need to bring them home right away.

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2008-08-02

Blackberries: Heck Yeah

If you thought this article was going to be about some boring piece of technology, you’re a nerd. No, I’m not here to talk about cell phones. I’m here to talk about fruit. It’s just about that time of the year again: blackberry season! Yum!

As the most prolific weed west of the Cascades, blackberries can be found all over the Puget Sound. In my professional opinion (I have a Ph.D. in complex berry neuroscience), if you lives around here and pay money to buy blackberries, you are one of three things:

stupid
lazy
a giant wuss

Actually, knowing you, you’re probably all three. Seriously, there is no excuse not to pick your own blackberries. None.

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2009-01-20

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED OBAMA OVERLOAD!!!!!!

Today at noon Eastern, in a magnificent ceremony overflowing with more majesty and splendor than a human mind is capable of comprehending, President-elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as the forty-fourth President of the United States of America, ushering in a new age of eternal peace, prosperity, and oneness for all mankind.

As preparations for the crowning achievement of humankind finally come to a dramatic climax, tens of billions…

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