Email This Story Function Fixed

TOPICS:administrative email loony

Posted By: Alfred Matthew 2009-04-25

Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels

In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.

As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*10⁷⁵

Posted By: Addison Berkeley 2009-01-15

Stop Whining and Start Visualizing

You know what? I have had it with all the gloomy, depressing talk about the economy. I think it is time for us to stop whining, get off our butts, and do something about this mess we find ourselves in.

There is nothing we can do to change the past. We should not dwell on the fact that George W. Bush has personally ruined our careers, destroyed our hard-earned home equity, and driven us into suffocating credit card debt. Now is not the time for that.

Posted By: Marty E. 2009-01-13

Just a quick programming note to let readers know that the “Email This Story” function is now functioning again, after having been broken for around a month (thanks a lot, WordPress 2.7).

You now have our permission to resume your regularly scheduled friend-spamming.

For those readers that are staring slack-jawed at the monitor right now, with no clue what the heck we’re talking about, consider yourself to have been virtually fish-slapped. Then go read one of the news stories and notice the “Email This Story” link on the top-right of the story and also at the bottom underneath the ratings. And while you’re at it why don’t you click on a few of them and spread the news of The Naked Loon.

The Naked Loon: Fixing stupid bugs and not going out of business or being sold by heartless east coast ownership since 2008!

2009-03-29

City of Kirkland Outlaws Layoffs

In a decisive and timely move during an emergency special session Saturday night, the Kirkland city council voted unanimously to pass Ordinance 4188, which prohibits any further layoffs at any company within the city limits.

“As the economic crisis continues deepen, Kirkland simply cannot afford to be marred by the destructive connotations associated with layoffs,” said Kirkland Mayor James Lauinger in a prepared statement.

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2008-12-31

Nickels: Seattle #1 Bestest City in Universe

2008-12-18

WILL IT NEVER END?!?

2008-12-03

Burien Emo Still Recovering from Awful Thanksgiving

Marty E.

Naked Loon Editor-in-Chief

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2008-08-13

Thousands Ignore Gutting of Kenmore Denny’s

As construction crews began gutting the Denny’s building in Kenmore this week to prepare for a massive remodel of the 31-year-old structure, thousands of passing motorists and local residents remained completely oblivious to the project.

Located on a busy stretch of Bothell Way (Hwy 522) through Kenmore, the forgettable building was the subject of a widespread lack of interest in June after its sexier, more popular cousin in Ballard was demolished.

Not a single person could be found Wednesday that cared or even noticed the major demolition project at the site…

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2008-09-04

Stocks Slide on Stock Sliding Worries

Crestfallen investors sent stocks tumbling Thursday, pushing the Dow Jones Industrials down over 340 points after shareholders and depositors continued the sell-off that began late last year, devastating hopes for a late-year recovery.

The market was already nervous as it waited for the government to release its August fall fashions report on Friday. So news from the nation’s financial centers that shareholders curtailed their buying last month due to a lower stock prices came as a heavy blow.

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2008-06-12

Naked Loon Classifieds for the Week of Whatever Week This is

Ride the SLUT to work!
Looking for a thrilling career? Look no further than Amazon! You can join our team and work on all kinds of exciting SQL, DHTML/XML, GBRSH, and hundreds more techno-abbreviations that are sure to impress your tech-ignorant extended family back in whatever backward Midwest town you escaped from. Visit the website for info. If it’s not down again, that is.

Got a great body?
Hot Lips Espresso is hiring! One of our baristas just went through a difficult breakup, resulting in a few too many nights spent with Ben & Jerry, if you get our drift. So, we’re on the hunt for some new eye-candy to trick all those lonely love-starved men into buying our overpriced coffee. If your age and BMI are both under 19, apply today! Call 206-HOT-LIPS for more details.

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2008-06-26

Navigating Transit in Seattle is as Easy as 1, 37, 12!

As the price of gas continues to fly higher than a bald eagle on LSD, more and more people are looking for ways to cut commuting costs.

With access to one of the world’s best mass transit systems, Seattle residents are in a great position to kick the disgusting habit of driving once and for all.

If you’re new to mass transit in Seattle, don’t fret! Just follow these easy tips and you’ll be clearing your environmental conscience and fattening your wallet in no time.

The best thing about mass transit in Seattle is all the choices. We’ve got bus, light rail, monorail, commuter rail, trolley, ferry, and much, much, more! Of course, all these choices can be intimidating to someone who is used to the boring one-trick-train systems in lesser cities such as Chicago or New York.

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2008-10-31

Oil Companies: Now is a Great Time to Drive

Hit hard by the double whammy of a faltering economy and falling gas prices, oil companies have launched a nationwide consumer education program extolling the benefits of driving.

Over the next three months the industry plans to spend $50 million attempting to convince the public that “Now is a Great Time to Drive.”

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