PetCo

Retailtastic 2008-09-02

The Wonders of Modern Science

PetCo apparently has some incredibly skilled (and crazy) genetic engineers on staff. Check out the intriguing pet they’re selling (I circled the important area in yellow).

2008-09-19

Microsoft Adds Sierra Mist to Break Rooms

Hot on the heels of a wildly popular advertising campaign featuring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld, as well as the overall unprecedented success of their Vista operating system, Microsoft rocked the Northwest Friday with their latest unexpected bombshell:

Effective September 22nd, Sierra Mist will be available in all break rooms.

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2008-11-23

PLAY SHINY HAPPY VIDEO GAMES

(Visit The Naked Loon to view this life-altering graphic)

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2008-05-23

Boeing Dreamliner Actually an Elaborate Hoax

With accumulating project delays that have pushed back delivery dates for Boeing’s next-generation Dreamliner aircraft by nearly two years, some have begun to question whether the project will ever reach completion. Now, thanks to an exclusive Naked Loon investigative report, the truth has been revealed: The Dreamliner project is in reality nothing more than an elaborate farce.

For the past six months, three dozen Naked Loon reporters have been working under-cover in a variety of positions at Boeing, from the so-called factory floor to the upper levels of management. The startling truth uncovered by our investigative team is that Boeing has neither designed nor built any airplanes since the mid 1990s.

Over the past decade, Boeing has gone to great lengths to maintain the complex illusion that they are in fact still an actual aircraft manufacturer…

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2008-07-21

Dino Rossi Adamantly Denies Ties to Local Charity

Republican candidate for Governor Dino Rossi issued a strong statement today denying any ties to charities in general and Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission in particular. A series of incriminating photographs have been revealed that show Rossi performing a number of selfless volunteer acts for Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission.

“I do not now, nor have I ever cared even the slightest bit about what happens to the homeless,” said Rossi. “This is just another of the baseless attacks that have become typical of my opponent.”

Allegations of Rossi’s involvement at the shelter began in May. At that time, Rossi denied having any sort of connection, saying “I don’t even know what the Union Gospel Mission is, but I definitely don’t support unions.” However, an in-depth investigative report by the Naked Loon uncovered evidence that contradicted Rossi’s claims.

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2008-08-25

Weather-Control Pranksters Rain Out Nickels’ Car-Free Day

A group of UW weather scientists claimed responsibility on Monday for ruining Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels’ inaugural “car free day” on Capitol Hill yesterday.

Calling themselves the Reactionary Anti-Initiative Network, the scientists explained that Sunday’s downpour was the result of weeks of careful planning and precision actions.

“When Mayor Nickels announced ‘car free days,’ we knew we had to do something,” said project lead Bernard Studemacher. “Weather is what we know, so naturally it was our preferred weapon.”

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