comics

The Loony Bin 2008-09-29

Introducing Naked Loon Comics

I’m happy to announce that The Naked Loon has partnered with local cartoonist Jeff Swenson to begin a new feature: Comics!

City Council Votes to Make Seattle “Greenest City Ever”

In a 7-2 decision on Monday, the Seattle City Council passed a sweeping city-wide program intended to literally make Seattle the “Greenest City Ever,” by painting each and every structure within the city limits a delightful shade of forest green. Residents and businesses alike will be required to participate in the new program, which will begin in 2010.

“We’ve made a lot of progress toward becoming the leader in green issues…”

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Fallen Soldiers Honored with Incredible Memorial Day Sales

From Olympia to Bellingham, Puget Sound residents were out in force today honoring the memories of fallen military men and women by taking advantage of amazing Memorial Day sales at dozens of local retailers.

“What better way to honor those who have died fighting for our freedom than to pick up a designer handbag at Nordstrom for 40% off,” said Seattle resident Mary Fortran. Shoppers all around the Sound apparently agreed, as they grabbed unbelievable deals by the thousands on on barbeques at Sears, plasma TVs at Best Buy, and camping gear at REI.

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Graduates Ride Emotional High from Successfully Meeting Minimum Standards

One week into their new lives as allegedly contributing members of society, recent local high school graduates are still riding an emotional high from completing the biggest achievement of their lives: meeting the criteria for graduation as defined in the Washington State law and school board policy.

“It’s like, so great to finally be like, done with school” said Sarah Donohue, a graduate of Inglemoor High in Kenmore.

Local teens reported feeling a lasting sense of accomplishment and satisfaction after successfully reaching the level of education required to obtain such illustrious jobs as cashier, car salesman, and food preparation worker.

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Local Filmmaker Smooshes Ant, Creates Indie Film

A groundbreaking independent film screening this weekend in Seattle takes an insightful, entertaining, and totally original look into the mind of nature’s most overlooked insect: the ant.

Local filmmaker Andy Todd’s new film, Ant: The Awakening, will premier Saturday to an audience of pretentious indie-film-enthusiasts at the Jewel Box Theater in Belltown.

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Friendless, Video-Game Addicted Loser Sues Microsoft

In the latest shot across the bow of the beleaguered local software giant, friendless loser Ted Elias is suing Microsoft for $25 million.

A statement released by Elias’ lawyer on Friday accuses Microsoft of “totally destroying his mental, social, and physical health by providing my client with unlimited access to the addictive Xbox 360 video game console as well as an unending stream of engrossing hit games.”

“Before he was introduced to the virtual mind-control of the Xbox 360, my client was a successful, well-developed 27-year-old,” said attorney Martin Finklestein, representing Elias in the case. “However, after just two years under the influence of Redmond’s electro-brainwashing, he has lost his job, his friends, and even his basic sense of hygiene.”

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