Articles by Tim Eyman

Opinion 2008-04-13

Tim Eyman: Introducing I-999 The Ultimate Anti- Government Initiative

We’ve been beating around the bush for long enough. It’s time we got serious about taking back control of our government from the business-as-usual bureaucrats that have taken over Olympia.

That’s why I’m introducing my latest initiative, I-999, which will completely eliminate the offices of state representatives, senators, judges, and governor.

I-999 is a smart, balanced, reasonable proposal that closes loopholes in state government that have allowed tax-raising government cronies to maintain a tight fist of control over the years, thwarting the will of the people time and again.

2008-07-02

Trademark “Bennett Scowl” Unfazed by Sonics Ruling

Editor’s note: Thanks to the uncanny prescience of our writing staff, The Naked Loon is able to bring you the big news about today’s Sonics ruling ten whole hours before anyone else!

Welcome to the future, Seattle.

As U.S. District Judge Marsha Pechman handed down her decision today in Seattle’s lawsuit against the Sonics, team owner Clay Bennett successfully maintained his trademark scowl without displaying even so much as a slight twitch at the corner of his lips.

When Judge Pechman’s ruling was revealed at 4:00 this afternoon…

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2009-04-02

Question the Kostyra: Handling an Overbearing Mother?

Today The Naked Loon is proud to introduce our very own advice column “Question the Kostyra,” in which Naked Loon Living Editor Martha Kostyra will answer your questions about life, relationships, and which espresso stand is most deserving of your valuable patronage.

If you have a question for Martha, just fill out our handy contact form to drop her a line. Today Martha dishes out her wisdom to a pair of distressed Seattle-area readers.

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2008-11-19

Brutally Beat the Winter Doldrums. To Death.

Ahh, winter. That glorious season of 8-hour daylight, bitterly cold nights, endless rain, and obligated time spent tolerating relatives. What’s not to love about it?

Of course, there are some people who tend to get down in the dumps as winter rolls around, and even though the staff here at The Naked Loon is “insensitive,” “detached,” and “evil,” we’re not the type to rub our winter-blues-immunity in others’ faces.

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2008-06-16

7 Ways to Save $7,777 by Christmas in July

As the price of gas barely pauses at $4 on its way up to $10 a gallon and you find yourself spending $300 at the grocery store for little more than an organic grapefruit and a box of low sodium Wheat Thins, it is only by the grace of home equity withdrawals that so many of us have avoided bankruptcy this long.

It is getting harder and harder to make ends meet these days, let alone find the money to take advantage of all the latest great sales at our favorite stores. With the amazing savings of Independence Day sales and Christmas in July just around the corner, it’s time to start looking for ways to save some coin.

Thankfully, all you have to do is follow these practical money-saving steps based on the average Seattle-area budget, and you are guaranteed to save $7,777 in just four weeks.

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2008-04-01

Boeing to Build Air Force Tanker Anyway

After losing a $40 billion Air Force tanker contract to European competitor Airbus and filing a formal protest with the Government Accountability Office in early March, Boeing has announced that they will build the tanker regardless of the US Government’s decision.

It was thought that the Air Force decision would result in the eventual 2012 closure of the 767 assembly line in Everett, and the addition of thousands of jobs to Airbus…

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