SeattlePI

The Papyrus Virus 2009-07-01

David Horsey: Papyrus Lover

I usually try to avoid exposing myself to the predictable and unfunny graphical musings of SeattlePI.com “cartoonist” David Horsey, but I spotted something in today’s…

2008-04-04

UW Research Concludes Screaming At Children Probably Not Beneficial

Researchers at the University of Washington released the results of their latest study on Tuesday in a paper titled “The effects of extreme verbal abuse on childhood psychological development.”
The thirteen-million-dollar, six-year study closely followed five hundred children aged three weeks through nine years, who were brought in on a weekly basis for two-hour sessions during which they were subjected to a non-stop barrage of profanity…

2008-04-17

I want to be a elephant trainer when I grow up

My name is Alexander and I am in the first grade. When I grow up I want to be a elephant trainer.

Elephants are neat. They are big and gray and have funny long noses and you can ride on them if you are real careful and nice. When you ride on a elephant you can make it go around and stomp on people like the bully at school named Joe that pushes me around. My elephant will make Joe go splat.

2008-08-31

Most Exciting Upcoming Murder Simulators at PAX

(Visit The Naked Loon to view this life-altering graphic)

2008-08-15

China Fakes Entire Olympic Games

BEIJING – While fraudulent footprint fireworks and little lip-syncing Lin appeared to be the extent of China’s Olympic deception, in reality these scandals are just the icing on an enormous Olympic fakery cake. According to well-placed sources in the Chinese government, the entirety of the Beijing Olympic Games is in fact completely staged.

Every single aspect of the 2008 Summer Games as viewed by the world on television and the Internet has been part of an elaborate farce, carried out through a combination of green-screen digital trickery and fully computer-generated graphics.

Even Beijing’s famous “crow’s nest” stadium exists only as an arrangement of bits inside a massive graphic-manipulation supercomputer.

2008-05-27

Overheard Outside Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

With it being Memorial Day Weekend, and me having no friends or family to invite me camping, or to a BBQ, or even a t-ball game I spent my weekend lounging around my second home, the Oak Tree Cinemas on Aurora. Since I have yet to receive payment for my contributions around here I couldn’t actually afford to see any movies. But, as I sat in the lobby pretending to play Cruis’n World I was able to overhear the crowds as they left the new “summer” blockbuster Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Here’s what they had to say…

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