Tacoma-based shoe company Wear the Foot issued a press release Tuesday announcing the latest breakthrough in high-tech shoe wizardry: the Pump-Light-Rolly shoe.
“We’re proud to be the first and only shoe company in the world to offer the advanced breakthroughs of pump technology, light-up soles, and wheeled heels in a single shoe,” CEO Howard Spitzer was quoted as saying in the release.
Researchers at MIT announced the shocking results of a groundbreaking study Monday, revealing that over 90% of the population of the internet are liars and hypocrites.
In the fourteen-month study, researchers canvassed hundreds of discussion forums, blogs, and social networking sites, tracking down participants and following up in-person on statements and claims made online.
(Visit The Naked Loon to view this life-altering graphic)
In three short weeks, this delightful election season will finally come to an end, as the thrilling climax wraps up well over a year of non-stop entertainment. Unfortunately, once the post-election rioting dies down, millions of Americans will be left with a frightening entertainment void.
Luckily, thanks to the beauty and majesty of network television, Americans need not fear being forced to face the depressing reality of their pathetic everyday lives.
The final debate between gubernatorial candidates Dino Rossi and Christine Gregoire turned ugly last night as the heated verbal exchange erupted into an all-out brawl in front of a stunned panel of local journalists.
With the increasingly ugly tone of the campaign, local political veterans were surprised only that it took this long to come to physical violence.
So the economy is in the toilet, your 401(k) is worthless, you lost all three of your jobs, your bank went under, and the Second Great Depression is underway. You’re a fighter, and you are going to keep on living it up. You won’t let little things like not having any money stop you from enjoying life.
Here are some helpful tips to will help you maintain a fun standard of living during these difficult times.
Throughout the entirety of his 18 mile commute this morning, something just seemed “different” to Bothell commuter Rick Vance, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
Upon arriving at his workplace in downtown Seattle, it dawned on him: “I didn’t encounter a single rude, oblivious, or otherwise incompetent driver on the road this morning,” he recalled.
Accustomed to frequent altercations…
When the stock market fell thirty percent, it was rough, but I knew I could handle it since I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me. When Washington Mutual went under and had its bones picked clean by a hoity toity New York bank, I knew I would miss their low fees and laid-back attitude, but life goes on.
But when I learned last week that Mother’s Cookies has gone under, that’s when I knew that the economic meltdown had gone too far.
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With the future looking bleaker by the day in the face of unprecedented economic meltdown, tens of thousands of people across the country are turning to sterilization to help them cope with the disaster.
Clinics in virtually every city in America have been flooded with requests for sterilization from middle-age professionals, teens barely out of puberty, and everyone in between. Without exception, those receiving the procedures have cited the country’s dismal, expensive future as explanation.
The growing worldwide economic crisis has finally hit home, as residents across the Puget Sound are taking unprecedented measures to make it through these tough times. The Naked Loon performed a series of man on the street interviews with regular folks about how they are coping with financial despair.
What follows are unedited excerpts of these heart-wrenching personal tales.
Call centers at New York-based JPMorgan Chase & Co. were flooded with angry calls this week following the company’s launch of their first advertising campaign in the newly-acquired Seattle market.
Former WaMu customers were livid at the slogan used in the ads: “We’re Like You, But Much Richer™.” The television spots feature dozens of caricatures of Northwesterners such as “Logger,” “Grunge Band Guitarist,” and “Radio Psychologist.”
As the stock market continues its historic plunge, one local musician is making literally tens of dollars on an original hit song: Wall Street Inferno.
Ballard resident Michael Locowitz generally spends his days trolling various internet message boards, arguing heatedly about the latest headlines. However, internet arguments had to take a back seat when inspiration struck as Locowitz watched the stock market tumble last week.
Emboldened by the swift passage of his $700 billion Emergency Economic Stabilization Act, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson went before Congress on Monday to introduce a series of sweeping new bills that, when passed, will effectively declare Paulson to be the ultimate ruler of the universe for all time.
“I didn’t really think I could do it,” said Paulson, referring to the rapid passage of the $700 billion Wall Street bailout…
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