The state Supreme Court issued a unanimous decision Friday, clearing Michelle Obama of wrongdoing in the mysterious placement of marijuana-scented metal spikes discovered buried on the floor of Greenlake.

The spikes were discovered by a policeman during a routine patrol of the lake. When one of the ten-foot, machine-sharpened, diamond-tipped spikes was pulled from the slimy lakebed, the unmistakable smell of marijuana led to the discovery and subsequent arrest of nine-hundred more, scattered throughout the lake.

In addition to the Greenlake spike Supreme Court ruling, Mrs. Obama’s visit to Washington State this week was also timed to coincide with a fundraiser for Christine Gregoire and the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale…

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Seattle city officials held a progress review meeting today to update the city’s civil defense preparations. The meeting was hastily ordered by Mayor Nickels after a city clerk discovered an obscure city code dating back to the 50s that requires the city to update its civil defense plans and distribute updated materials to the public every ten years. Seattle has not updated its civil defense plans since 1951.

…changes to the civil defense materials include updates to lists of subversive organizations and replacing detailed explanations of death by atom bomb with comprehensive descriptions of death by chemical or biological attack.

“We’re pretty proud of what we were able to produce on such a short notice,” said Mayor Nickels, who explained that updated civil defense pamphlets and books will be available to Seattle residents as early as next week.

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One week after the iconic Ballard Denny’s building was unceremoniously smashed to bits, the 31-year-old Denny’s restaurant building in Kenmore continues to remain standing, a blatant mockery of all that is good and wholesome.

While the architecturally interesting Ballard Denny’s met the steel claw of progress last week, the exceptionally ordinary Kenmore Denny’s building has so far avoided meeting the same fate.

Since the closure of Denny’s in May of 2006, the nondescript building has been sitting gutted and empty without so much as a peep from local neighbors…

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