Fannie, Freddie Boost Efforts to Minimize Responsibility

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the walking-dead government-owned mortgage-finance companies, announced Tuesday that they will accelerate their anti-responsibility efforts with a new accountability elimination program designed to cut financial obligations for struggling debtors.

The mortgage giants will target loans in which borrowers have given up paying back their mortgages for three months or more and have debt obligations that exceed fifty percent of their monthly income.

“Clearly the best solution to this crisis is to reward individuals that took out ridiculously unaffordable loans,” said Neel Kashkari, interim assistant Treasury secretary, in a prepared statement.

“Everyone involved in making and receiving these loans knew full well that there was zero chance they would be paid back on the original terms,” said Kashkari. “If only home prices had continued to increase by double-digit percentages every year in perpetuity, this whole mess could have been avoided.”

The initiative expands efforts by the Free Money Now Alliance, a group of investors, advocacy groups, and mortgage lenders and servicers that Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson helped create last year. The primary role of the FMNA is to work with the US government to distribute taxpayer money to as many irresponsible individuals and corporations as possible.

Paulson has called the artificial propping up of still unsustainably-high housing values central to the economy’s revival, and urged Fannie and Freddie to play a bigger role in the distribution of free money to reckless borrowers and lenders.

“If we can’t keep families and businesses from experiencing the negative consequences of foolish financial decisions made during the largest housing bubble in history, it’s really going to continue to damage the economy,” said Paulson.

About the Author

Josh Devena

Naked Loon Ecto-Seattle Correspondent

5 Comments on "Fannie, Freddie Boost Efforts to Minimize Responsibility"

  1. You like to tell it like it is, don’t you?

  2. disturbingly, this is closer to actual news then the satire it’s intended to be.

  3. I certainly hope that you are not trying to blame this problem on Barney Franks and his gay PARTNER who was running the show at Fannie! How could you do that?
    You know as well as the rest of us that our Super President Obama is NO EMPTY SUIT and will take care of all of us with the first of his “spread around checks”. I am also awaiting my Obama new mortgage payment plan to pay for my home and my new Obama gas payments for my car. I also am awaiting the expected Obama plan that is going to take care of my 6 maxed out credit card accounts with balance forgiveness and help with making my car payments.
    As for my cancer, I know that the combination of the new Obama health care plan and Governor Gregoire’s “needle in the arm plan” will take care of my problems IN THE END!
    As for us shutting down most farming and ranching in the name of helping with global warming and the need to transfer 1.5 Trillion dollars to the countries in Africa and Asia who are having “climate change” problems, it will just be an “Obama” blip on the old radar screen. Now I know that we will have brown outs when electrical generation is virtually stopped in this country to shut down the emission of CO2 and other carbon greenhouse gases, but we can light candles and sing “Wonderful World” in the dark while we eat tofu!

    WHAT ME WORRY?

  4. this segment brought to you by http://www.youwalkaway.com

  5. Like all great satire, this is close enough to truth that it would be believable as actual news.

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