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Discovery of Twitter Gives Bellevue Man False Sense of Technological Prowess

38-year-old Bellevue sales accountant Joe Millar was overcome by a false sense of technological prowess after creating his new Twitter account: 2trndy4u.
Courtesy Twitter↑ click to enlarge ↑38-year-old Bellevue sales accountant Joe Millar was overcome by a false sense of technological prowess after creating his new Twitter account: 2trndy4u.

BELLEVUE, WA — 38-year-old Joe Millar of Bellevue experienced a satisfying surge of adrenaline Friday upon his discovery of Twitter, the so-called “micro-blogging” internet service founded in March 2006.

When he received the new account email from Twitter, Millar was completely overwhelmed by a totally undeserved sense of tech savvy. According to internet experts (i.e. teenagers), over six million users managed to discover Twitter before Millar.

Millar’s uncertainty of exactly how to use Twitter or what its purpose is did not stop him from proudly emailing news of his account creation accomplishment to his entire network of family and friends.

“Hey everyone, guess who is finally on the cutting edge of this whole Internet Superhighway thing,” read Millar’s quaint screed.

“Geez dad, Twitter is like, so 2008,” Millar’s nine-year-old daughter Kylie texted back sixteen seconds later. “Everyone who is anyone online is using Ping.fm or Asaph now.”

Despite the less than enthusiastic response from his spawn, Millar’s enthusiasm would not be dampened. Beaming satisfyingly at his screen, he wondered to himself what the letter ‘O’ above “following” and “followers” could mean.

“I assume the service manual is in the mail,” explained Millar. “I’ll have to figure this all out when I get it.”

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2 Comments on “Discovery of Twitter Gives Bellevue Man False Sense of Technological Prowess”

  1. I’m still waiting for my manual to arrive. Teresa, age 53

  2. What a [what part of "don't be a jerk" was unclear]. Should this really be in the paper?

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