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Bush Extends WA Budget Deficit to $5 Billion

President Bush intentionally treads on the Washington State seal in a medieval show of disrespect.
↑ click to enlarge ↑President Bush intentionally treads on the Washington State seal in a medieval show of disrespect.

As one of his final acts in office, President George Bush signed an executive order earlier this week, expanding Washington State’s already crippling $3.2 billion projected budget deficit to a mind-boggling $5 billion.

In addition to personally wrecking havoc with Washington State’s budget, Bush also signed orders that would force Boeing to begin laying off thousands of employees in 2009, as well as impose further shrinkage on revenues at Amazon.com, Starbucks, Nordstrom, and dozens of other local businesses.

State government officials were perplexed and saddened by Bush’s move.

“It’s really disappointing to me,” said Governor Christine Gregoire. “We have run the perfect model of a fiscally responsible government here in the great state of Washington, but for some reason George Bush seems to have it in for us, constantly ruining our state’s highly efficient, waste-free operations.”

The latest expansion of the projected deficit puts Gregoire in the unfortunate position of being forced to make painful cuts totaling over sixty percent of the $8 billion she increased state spending by during her first term.

“I just don’t know what we’re going to do,” said Gregoire. “No, really. I honestly have no idea. I’ve even set up a special form on my website at governor.wa.gov where hopefully someone that knows how to manage a budget this big will clue me in.”

A number of possible solutions are currently being discussed in Olympia to solve the historic budget crisis.

One plan would converting state government operations into a bank, thus qualifying Washington for a piece of sweet, sweet bailout billions pie. Another possible way out involves convening a special committee that would study the deficit and release a full report in 12 months, which would include detailed instructions on the direction of future committees.

“There is no need to worry,” said Gregoire. “When I came into office, I inherited a $2.2 billion deficit, which I solved by rapidly increasing state spending by $8 billion. I think maybe if we just increase spending another $16 or $32 billion, this problem will take care of itself.”

With Democrats retaining firm control of the state legislature and the governor’s mansion, Gregoire is confident that despite Bush’s best efforts, Washington State will continue to be the envy of the nation.

“Let’s not let thousands of layoffs and a measly five billion dollar budget shortage dampen our enthusiasm for spending,” said Gregoire. “If we do that, the Republicans win.”

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