Obama is the Christ
Congratulations America. You finally did something right. You elected Barack Obama—the embodiment of all that is good and virtuous—as our great nation’s president.
I have never been more proud to be an American—or indeed a member of the human race—than I am on this great day in history.
Consider this: all that Barack Obama asked us to do was to believe in him. That is all. Does that remind you of anyone else? Perhaps a certain carpenter-slash-savior-of-the-world?
Is it possible—even likely—that Barack Obama is the second coming of the messiah? Absolutely it is.
Barack Obama lights the way for the downtrodden, he lifts up the weary, and gives hope to the world—just like the Christ. He will lead us out of these dark and troubled times, into something better and brighter—just like the Christ.
Barack Obama speaks against the oppressive power structures of this corrupt world, and fills our lives with words of encouragement and comfort—just like who? That is correct, the Christ.
I hope that everyone will join me in honoring and paying tribute to our newly
appointed king elected president. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- 100% Barack Obama wardrobe.
- Barack Obama tattoos on every visible portion of your body.
- Name all of your current and future children Barack (Obama is also acceptable).
- Learn one of the many Barack Obama songs, or better yet, write and perform one yourself.
- Wallpaper the inside of your house with Barack Obama posters.
I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. The bottom line is that this is a man who deserves one hundred and ten percent of our adoration and admiration.
Barack Obama is the kind of once-in-a-millennium leader that will bring healing to our nation, and restore the moral leadership of America throughout the world.
It fills me with unspeakable joy deep inside to know that I can have a small part in helping this man (if you can call him a mere man) to lead our nation and our world into an everlasting time of peace and prosperity for all.
Barack Hussein Obama is the Antichrist
Oh no. No no no… America, what have you done—WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
I can hardly believe this is really happening, but the American people have indeed just elected Barack Hussein Obama—the Antichrist as our president.
You don’t believe me, seriously? Okay, let’s check out what the Bible says about the Antichrist, shall we?
- “He shall exalt himself… he shall magnify himself above all.” (Dan. 11:36-37) – Just look at his campaign posters or any of his promotional material – Check.
- “And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things.” (Rev. 13:5) – Barack Hussein Obama is an incredibly eloquent speaker, probably the best public orator since Hitler – Check.
- “All that dwell upon the earth shall worship him.” (Rev. 13:8) – Something like 90% of countries around the world wanted Barack Hussein Obama to be elected – Check.
- “And power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations.” (Rev. 13:7) – Barack Hussein Obama has just been elected to lead the most powerful nation in the world – Check.
Could it be any more clear?
Fact: Barack Hussein Obama was born a Muslim, and secretly still practices the Islamic religion. (Remember when he was accidentally honest, and referred to “my Muslim faith” on national television?)
Fact: Two other 20th century leaders have run wildly successful campaigns based on “hope” and “change” – Adolf Hitler and Vladimir Lenin.
Fact: Barack Hussein Obama is best friends with dozens of known terrorists, including one that wrote his first book for him.
Mark my words, this will not end well. I hope you know your Qur’an, because we’ll all be required to recite it daily before Barack Hussein Obama’s first term is over.
This is the end. The USA had a good run, but it had to come to an end some day. I guess if we have to go out, we may as well go out as the nation that ushered in the final chapter of the end times. Here’s to Armageddon, the war to end all wars.
See you on the other side of the Apocalypse.