Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels

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In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.

As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*1075

Another day, another victory, another technically flawless performance from each of the nine precision-crafted servo-powered animatronic modules that make up the Robot Mariners.

Per Hyper League Baseball rules, the Robot Mariners limited their average per-inning runs to less than 2,894, and granted the required three pity runs to their hapless opponents in the top of the ninth.

A grand slam by BUHNERBOT-2000 in the seventh inning—the four thousandth of the game— brought the crowd at VirtuoCo Field to its feet.

“CALCULATIONS INDICATED THE EXPECTED RESULTS OF THIS ACTION,” said BUHNERBOT.

Although it is early in the season, the Robot Mariners have quickly shot to the top of both their division and the league. The win brings their season record to 256-0. With the New York Cockroaches losing Friday to fall to 128-128, the Robot Mariners are already guaranteed a place in the postseason.

“WE ARE PROGRAMMED TO PLAY PERFECT BASEBALL,” said ICHIROID-MARK2 after the game. “WE SUCCESSFULLY ACCOMPLISHED OUR IMPERATIVE.”

About the Author

Alfred Matthew
Naked Loon Entertainment Reporter

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