Articles by Martha Kostyra

Question the Kostyra: Handling an Overbearing Mother?

Today The Naked Loon is proud to introduce our very own advice column “Question the Kostyra,” in which Naked Loon Living Editor Martha Kostyra will answer your questions about life, relationships, and which espresso stand is most deserving of your valuable patronage.

If you have a question for Martha, just fill out our handy contact form to drop her a line. Today Martha dishes out her wisdom to a pair of distressed Seattle-area readers.

How To: Avoid Layoff-pocalypse Victimization

With something like eleven out of every ten companies in the Seattle area laying people off these days, it’s probably about time for those of you who still have a job to plan your layoff apocalypse survival strategy.

Intrepid Naked Loon staff members have endured a grueling schedule packed full of interviews with firing managers, library visits to scour the internets, and hour after hour crunching HR statistics—all to help you keep your job. Aren’t we great.

Brutally Beat the Winter Doldrums. To Death.

Ahh, winter. That glorious season of 8-hour daylight, bitterly cold nights, endless rain, and obligated time spent tolerating relatives. What’s not to love about it?

Of course, there are some people who tend to get down in the dumps as winter rolls around, and even though the staff here at The Naked Loon is “insensitive,” “detached,” and “evil,” we’re not the type to rub our winter-blues-immunity in others’ faces.

Learning to Cope Without Circus Animals

It has been three full weeks since the untimely demise of Mother’s Cookies dealt a crushing blow to humanity. While it may be too early for some who are still suffering through denial, anger, bargaining, or depression, The Naked Loon humbly presents the following review of Circus Animal alternatives to help the wounded nation move on.

Naked Loon staff members scoured local grocers for alternatives…

Live It Up on 32 Cents a Day (or Less)

So the economy is in the toilet, your 401(k) is worthless, you lost all three of your jobs, your bank went under, and the Second Great Depression is underway. You’re a fighter, and you are going to keep on living it up. You won’t let little things like not having any money stop you from enjoying life.

Here are some helpful tips to will help you maintain a fun standard of living during these difficult times.

Make the Most of Your Puget Sound Staycation

You deserve a vacation. Unfortunately, there is a problem. Or two. Or three. If you fly somewhere, you’re faced with airline fees for everything from bathroom breaks to cabin pressurization. Driving isn’t much better, as the cost of gas remains so high that you’ve even considered the unthinkable—taking the bus to work. And oh yeah, thanks to the housing crash and the economy, you’re broke.

Thankfully, that’s why God gave us the staycation. Of course, even sticking around the Sound isn’t without its troubles. Your neighborhood is safe and friendly, but who knows what dangers lurk in the more… shall we say… “exotic” corners of the Pacific Northwest.

Putting Laziness to Work for You

Laziness: it’s not just for sitting around the house anymore. Here in America, the land of such groundbreaking inventions as the recliner and the the diet pill, we have become the world leader in laziness. But how can you make laziness work for you?

The personal benefits of laziness are limitless, but for now let’s limit our focus to one area… say, parking lots.

One great way to exercise the power of laziness in the parking lot is to never park more than four spaces away from the front of an aisle…