Seattle’s Top Recession-Proof Careers
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2009
United Nations Resolution Declares End of Financial Crisis
At the conclusion of a specially-convened 48-hour summit this weekend, the United Nations narrowly passed a resolution declaring an official end to the worldwide economic crisis.
The resolution states that if the complete and utter collapse of the world economy refuses to cease all its financial destruction programs and allow UN inspectors to verify the termination thereof, it runs the risk of bearing the full brunt of further resolutions.
Rip Van Naked Loon
Whoa, that was a great nap. I feel totally refreshed and ready to take on the world!
So how long was I out? Two, three hours?
What? Thirty-seven days?!? How is that even possible?
City of Kirkland Outlaws Layoffs
In a decisive and timely move during an emergency special session Saturday night, the Kirkland city council voted unanimously to pass Ordinance 4188, which prohibits any further layoffs at any company within the city limits.
“As the economic crisis continues deepen, Kirkland simply cannot afford to be marred by the destructive connotations associated with layoffs,” said Kirkland Mayor James Lauinger in a prepared statement.
…And, We’re Back.
The Naked Loon: Totally Not Dead
Discovery of Twitter Gives Bellevue Man False Sense of Technological Prowess
BELLEVUE, WA — 38-year-old Joe Millar of Bellevue experienced a satisfying surge of adrenaline Friday upon his discovery of Twitter, the so-called “micro-blogging” internet service founded in March 2006.
When he received the new account email from Twitter, Millar was completely overwhelmed by a totally undeserved sense of tech savvy. According to internet experts (i.e. teenagers), over six million users managed to discover Twitter before Millar.
The Naked Loon Reviews: Sitting at Home Alone
Every week, tens of thousands of Seattleites find themselves facing a familiar situation: the weekend is fast-approaching, and they have absolutely no plans due to an unfortunate combination of social anxiety disorders, crippling agoraphobia, and a complete lack of spending money thanks to “the economy.”
For those readers considering turning yet again to the old standby “sitting at home alone,” here’s a look at what you have to look forward to.
Queen Anne Man Admits: “I kinda miss the snow,” Receives Well- Deserved Gut Punch
What Time Is It?
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TOTALLY JUSTIFIED OBAMA OVERLOAD!!!!!!
Today at noon Eastern, in a magnificent ceremony overflowing with more majesty and splendor than a human mind is capable of comprehending, President-elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as the forty-fourth President of the United States of America, ushering in a new age of eternal peace, prosperity, and oneness for all mankind.
As preparations for the crowning achievement of humankind finally come to a dramatic climax, tens of billions…
Elections Director Blatently Violates Election Law, Receives Award
Stop Whining and Start Visualizing
You know what? I have had it with all the gloomy, depressing talk about the economy. I think it is time for us to stop whining, get off our butts, and do something about this mess we find ourselves in.
There is nothing we can do to change the past. We should not dwell on the fact that George W. Bush has personally ruined our careers, destroyed our hard-earned home equity, and driven us into suffocating credit card debt. Now is not the time for that.
Diagnoses of Inauguration Fever Up Ten Thousand Percent
WSDOT Inadvertently Creates Video Game Gem
Okay, so I had an interesting thought while watching this video uploaded by WSDOT to show off the fancy new Viaduct tunnel plan that is totally, for real, absolutely, definitely what we’re going to do you guys, we really mean it this time.
Here’s the video:
Check out the fly-in from about 0:12 to 0:30. Here’s the big question that comes to my mind when watching that sweet 3D shot of downtown Seattle… Why in the heck aren’t these digital assets being used in video games?