Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Archive for April 2009

You are browsing the Naked Loon story archives.

Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels

Robot Mariners Extend Perfect Record in 23,145 to 6 Victory Over Sheep-Clone Angels

In his 6,523rd career game, EDGARTRON-3000 led the Robot Mariners to their landmark 65,536th consecutive win Friday night against the Los Angeles Sheep-Clone Angels.

As usual, the team scored precisely 23,145.0 runs in a perfectly precise execution of baseball. The nine-inning romp included an average of 642.9167 home runs by each of the nine electronic players as the team extended its league-leading record to 3.91*1075

No Comments | Read full story »

Oppressive Tax on Loathed Minority Set for Easy Passage

Oppressive Tax on Loathed Minority Set for Easy Passage

Facing an unprecedented $9 billion budget shortfall, legislators in Olympia are scrambling to find new sources of revenue to sustain the drunken spending spree of the past four years.

Now thanks to some quick thinking by Senate Majority Leader Lisa Brown, cuts in popular programs such as after school basket weaving for inner-city toddlers will likely be avoided as an oppressive tax on an unpopular minority heads for easy passage.

8 Comments | Read full story »

Question the Kostyra: Handling an Overbearing Mother?

Question the Kostyra: Handling an Overbearing Mother?

Today The Naked Loon is proud to introduce our very own advice column “Question the Kostyra,” in which Naked Loon Living Editor Martha Kostyra will answer your questions about life, relationships, and which espresso stand is most deserving of your valuable patronage.

If you have a question for Martha, just fill out our handy contact form to drop her a line. Today Martha dishes out her wisdom to a pair of distressed Seattle-area readers.

2 Comments | Read full story »

Previous Stories