Thursday, April 17, 2014

Archive for October 2008

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Oil Companies: Now is a Great Time to Drive

Oil Companies: Now is a Great Time to Drive

Hit hard by the double whammy of a faltering economy and falling gas prices, oil companies have launched a nationwide consumer education program extolling the benefits of driving.

Over the next three months the industry plans to spend $50 million attempting to convince the public that “Now is a Great Time to Drive.”

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Fed Cuts Rate to 1% to Ensure Prolonged Recession

Fed Cuts Rate to 1% to Ensure Prolonged Recession

In a panicked move Wednesday, the Federal Reserve cut its benchmark interest rate by half a percentage point to one percent, guaranteeing the worst U.S. economic downturn in the postwar era, if not the worst of all time.

“Recent policy actions, including today’s rate reduction, should help to amplify the downside risks to growth which remain,” said the Federal Open Market Committee in yesterday’s statement.

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Repulsive Facebook Update Sends Shockwaves Through 2028 Campaign

Repulsive Facebook Update Sends Shockwaves Through 2028 Campaign

16-year-old John Baker of Redmond utterly destroyed his 2028 campaign for President Tuesday, when he updated his Facebook profile with an unspeakably offensive missive, intended to get a laugh out of his friends.

Thinking his peers would find it hilarious, Baker updated his Facebook status Tuesday afternoon at approximately 3:24 PM to display the message that “John is [censored]ing his sister’s collection of…

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